I take Mötley Crüe a little more seriously than most people. Just a little, and that’s not saying much. But I chuckle a little less than the next guy when I hear there’s a new Mötley Crüe record dropping. Maybe it’s my age and where I was at in life when I discovered them. I mean Mötley Crüe is pretty fucking badass if you’re a first grader in the 80s. I’ve read The Dirt and Nikki Sixx’s recently published autobiography (skipping the awful discarded song lyrics littered throughout) and I at least recognize their place as the most notorious rock stars of their time, a time in which the most important job of a rock star was to be notorious. I have to respect that.

Everything since Dr. Feelgood has been total dogshit. And even though Nikki Sixx had always written all the music singlehandedly, none of his other projects ever managed to blow my skirt up so to speak.

Since I was 14, I’ve been waiting for the new Guns N’ Roses album, and I’ve always known its name: Chinese Democracy. The phrase is now more universally defined as the new Guns N’ Roses album than as the actual political movement in China that inspired the titling. And over the years, the phrase has developed a second meaning: It can also be used as an adjective, to describe something eternally “in the works,” promised countless times, yet never, ever, ever delivered. As in, “that raise I need is fucking chinese democracy,” or “that big break your boyfriend’s shitty band swears is going to happen is totally chinese democracy, tell him to get a fucking job.”

I’ve been waiting, literally half of my entire life. In 2001 and 2002, Axl unveiled a new band, and they played some shows- and some new songs. I thought it was coming. In 2003, a song leaked. A bunch more leaked in 2006. We could taste it. Word was that Axl was planning a Christmas ‘06 release, and he confirmed that rumor by promising it’d be out before year’s end in a radio show interview. On December 14th, as time ran out to deliver on that promise, Axl announced the cancellation of the last few shows of a successful North American tour so he could (for real this time) finish the album, which he said would finally be released on March 6th, 2007. On February 22nd, road manager Del James announced that Chinese Democracy’s recording was complete- and that it was being mixed. But March 6th came and went. As 2008 rolled in, there was still no new Guns N’ Roses album. But then in April, the second biggest possible headline related to Chinese Democracy appeared on every music newswire in existence: The album has been finished and delivered by Axl to Geffen.