The word change dates back to the 13th century and is a derivative of the Latin cambiare, which means to exchange, or barter. Today, the dictionary tells me that change means “to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.” Maybe we can specify “politics” or “government” as that “something” and Obama fans can put it on a button and wear it on their sleeves along with their naiveté.

Last October I had a few lapses in judgment. One was dying my hair dark brown, one was a less-than-perfect life choice, and the other was getting a little turned on by Barack Obama. On October 3, 2007, Obama was campaigning in Independence, Iowa, raping the dry husk that is the American Dream, *giggle* when one reporter noticed something strange.

“You don’t have the American flag pin on. Is that a fashion statement?” he asked and pointed out that politicians had been wearing them since September 12, 2001.

At that moment, my world stood still as Obama spoke. He said he stopped wearing the pin on his lapel after 9/11 when it became “substitute for… true patriotism” and that his ideas for America will prove to be a testament to his patriotism. Immediately, I fell in love, but others saw it as a weakness and further questioned his patriotism and support of American troops overseas. “You show your patriotism by how you treat your fellow Americans, especially those who serve. And you show your patriotism by being true to your values and ideals. And that’s what we have to lead with, our values and ideals,” Obama said the next day in a response to the attacks. That, I think, is the spirit of change Barack Obama wants to embody, but has failed terribly at in recent days. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that his supposed candor is nothing but eloquent rhetoric that is just as malleable as any other politician’s promises.

If you live in California, you’re no stranger to union strikes and all the drama that comes with their various protests. Even if you don’t, no doubt you recently felt the impact when every television show (except for Celebrity Fit Club, thank Jesus) was forced to take a little break because Hollywood writers ran out of creativity or money or something- but I digress…

Recently, union struggles have severely impacted the University of California (UC) campuses. The American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees (AFSCME), which represents some 20,000 University of California healthcare and service employees (5,400 employed at UCLA alone) has organized its members who have been working for months on expired contracts.

At some point, I made a joke: I’m going to vote for Obama, but put money down on McCain in Vegas, because the Democrats are gonna fucking blow it again.

And then I got an interesting piece of spam, from Bodog. New gamblers get a 10% bonus on their first deposit. I wondered- are they taking bets on the election? Of course they are; Vegas will take bets on fucking anything. I brought up the odds. You could bet on who would win the Presidency; between Hillary, Obama, and McCain, and McCain was the underdog. Odds were 7 to 5 against him. So if I were to add $100 to my account, I’d get an extra $10, and if McCain won, I’d get $154. Then it occured to me that I had a stimulus check of about $600 coming to me, courtesy of Mr. George W. Bush. How poetic it would be to double that by betting on another 4 to 8 years of ass-fuckery? $600 would net me $924!!

Break out the propane and carcass, fill the pool, it’s Memorial Day. While the more traditional towns are holding parades and ceremonies to honor the million American servicemen and women who have given their lives for this country, President Bush thoughtfully asked Americans to pay tribute to veterans by pausing today for “a moment of remembrance.”

John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama a few hours ago after dropping hints to the effect for the past week, and the predictable firestorm of debates over “the impact” and “what it means” has been launched. The fact is, the real impact of Edwards’ endorsement extends far beyond the 18 delegates he brings to the table, or whatever arguable measure of political clout he’ll provide. It was a strategic maneuver, and a goddamned genius one at that, at a moment that Hillary desperately wanted to call her own.