I don’t know many people who use MSN Messenger very often these days, including myself, but I’m back as of tomorrow and you and I should chat. But, for the next 30 days, I’ll be sacrificing myself for the greater good by making my MSN Messenger contact information public.

No, I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t even care about what you have to say. Well, unless you want to say how awesome the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Camp Rock is, and how you want to host a sing-along at your awesome pool house.

Midnight tonight marks the beginning of the “i’m talkathon: 30 days of e-mailing and IMing for the common good.”

The “i’m Initiative” has raised more than $1.5 million dollars since March ‘07 for their partner causes.

Here’s the best part:

“Exactly how much will we share with our partner causes? Well, that’s up to you and the growing masses of registered i’m Initiative users. The more messages you send, the more we give.”

Partner causes include:
American Red Cross
Boys & Girls Clubs of America
National AIDS Fund
The Humane Society of the United States
ninemillion.org
National Multiple Sclerosis Society
Sierra Club
UNICEF
stopglobalwarming.org
Susan G. Komen for the Cure

Sound good? Click here to join:
http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Join/

Don’t forget to designate your cause when you sign in and add britneybernstein@hotmail.com to your contact list. Make new friends, connect with old ones, and use it as a reason to ask your ex about his new ugly girlfriend.

I’ll be chatting for the National AIDS Fund.
Maybe next time we can all chat for the Buy Britney a Scooter Fund ($3,500 donations are welcome)…

Nevermind, I take it back. I’m a fan of black people like Mos Def and Michael Jackson, and I hate Barack Obama. My favorite players in the NBA are Luke Walton and Jordan Farmar. My favorite rapper is Robert Van Winkle and I love the Disney Channel.

As I was flipping through this month’s edition of my mysteriously free and never-ending subscription to Maxim Magazine, I read that Busta Rhymes released an album on Tuesday. I went on to the intarwebs and starting searching torrent sites for Blessed. Considering how easy it was to get Chinese Democracy, I was a little discouraged by not being able to find Blessed. On top of that, Maxim lied to me because Blessed isn’t being released until August or some bullshit. By the way, this album was supposed to be released in December ‘07, and the release date has been pushed back like 4 times.

A bunch of torrent sites, zip files, and read me files later, I almost wished I could hand $12 to Busta Rhymes himself to score a copy of Blessed. Finally, I was Blessed when God just handed it to me.

Now that Busta is hanging out with white people like Pharrell Williams and Linkin Park, his music is much better than it used to be.

Actually, the best part of the first track, We Made It featuring Linkin Park, is not the LP chorus, but the rhymes by Busta. Is that why they call him Busta Rhymes? Clever…

Kill Dem is a great one attacking Kanye West for saying George Bush doesn’t care about black people. Apparently Busta thinks Bush does, and he thinks we should kill all the democrats. John McCain needs a theme song…

Blown is one of my favorites because it features T-Pain and his auto-tuner. Busta rhymes about his bodyguard being shot and T-Pain lightens the mood by using that hot nail-scratching-on-the-chalkboard voice of his to talk about all the girls who have blown him while he records his music.

Don’t Touch Me is poised to be the next single. That means it’s good for those of you who don’t know. Okay fine. This is actually a great song and the remix has a lot of black people in it. Can someone tell me why they do that?

Decisions, decisions. I mean, the next track is called Decision. I’m pretty sure I’m hearing Mary J Blige, Jamie Foxx, John Legend, and Common. This is the most disappointing shit from a rapper since 50 Cent didn’t retire after Kanye beat his ass in record sales. Aayyyoooo!

Right Now is produced by Dr. Dre. I love him.

The next song… I’m not sure what it’s actually called because I can’t understand what the fuck he’s saying. It’s about sex– I got that much. Either it’s I’m Gonna Get Mine, I’ma Go & Get Mine, I really don’t know. If I can’t understand it, I don’t like it.

I thought I liked the next song, If, until I realized Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls was singing on the track. PCD recently got Britney Spears to shoot an appearance for their new video, but it got cut last minute, so I’m boycotting PCD and everything they touch. I can climb poles too…

Throw It Up features Ludacris and Lil’ Wayne. I wish they had something else to rap about other than “stank pussy” but I guess that’s why you gotta throw it up.

Sorry guys, but I can’t listen any more. I skimmed through the next three tracks, but I did figure out that they are about marijuana, voyeurism, and the gangsta lean.

The final track, If You Don’t Know Now You Know, is a sad showing from Busta. Who the fuck steals from a dead man? R.I.P.B.I.G

Final verdict: Blessed is okay, but I liked him better when he was on Pimp My Ride.

Blessed
Available August 2008

1) We Made It (w/ Linkin Park)
2) Kill Dem (w/ Tosh)
3) Blown (w/ T-Pain)
4) Don’t Touch Me (Throw Da Water On Em)
5) Decision (w/ Mary J Blige, Jamie Foxx, John Legend & Common)
6) Right Now
7) I’m Go & Get Mine
8 ) If (w/ Nicole Scherzinger)
9) Throw It Up (w/ Lil’ Wayne & Ludacris)
10) G-Stroll
11) Let Me Show You
12) Hits 4 Days (w/ J. Holiday)
13) If You Don’t Know Now You Know (w/ Big Tigger)

A TINY PART OF HER GREEN BRA!!! *gasp*

And most recently, photos surfaced from a Vanity Fair shoot where Miley one-upped herself by…

EXPOSING HER BACK!!!! *zomg*

Wow… seriously? I thought little Miley was starring in some hardcore bestiality porn from the way people have been talking about her. Parents are all up in arms over the photos and are questioning whether or not Miley is an appropriate role model for their daughters.

In one interview, a mother states that she thought she was doing a good job as a parent by only allowing her daughter to watch the Disney Channel. This is mind bottling since I’m positive that the Disney Channel will not be airing these photos in order to raise Hannah Montana’s ratings in the 15-year-old male category. Sure, the concern is probably more along the lines of knowing these photos will eventually be seen by young girls who look up to Miley. But really, what’s the big deal?

I guess the big deal is that parents are relying too much on the Disney Channel to raise their children and produce role models who are unable to make the mistakes that most other people do.

The Disney Channel and its young stars only have a responsibility to provide programming that is “G” rated. Beyond that, parents should assume some responsibility when real-life situations arise. Many parents are concerned that they will have to “talk” to their children if young celebrities don’t shape up, but I don’t see the problem here. It’s quite healthy to have discussions with children about the world instead of always trying to create an impenetrable bubble around them.

Unfortunately, this Disney star / role model / babysitter is a 15-year-old young woman (Vanessa Hudgens is 19) with a fan base full of 6 to 13-year-olds, as well 35 to 40-year-olds because Hannah Montana pulls parents in as well (the first season was awesome, innovative, and Billy Ray Cyrus is a hot piece in the mom crowd). Part of the problem is that the younger viewers haven’t experienced what it’s like to be 15 yet, and their parents obviously don’t remember. But there’s a broader issue of parents who continually underestimate the minds of today’s youth.

Luckily, I was able to have a discussion with two experts (12-year-old girls) about Miley this evening after I hopped off a plane in Washington, DC. As I was walking to baggage claim, I noticed two young girls being silly, and one of them had a Hannah Montana shirt on. I asked the parents if I could have a conversation with them about Miley Cyrus and anything they’ve heard about her lately.

We started out by just talking about Miley / Hannah, how much we all love her, how good the show is and how much we love her music. I waited for the natural point to ask the girls if they wanted to be like Miley Cyrus. Immediately, the girls both threw out a bunch of different things about Miley, such as being able to sing, play guitar, and the piano- things they aspire to do as well. None of these influences have anything to do with Miley’s personal life.

I then asked if they had heard anything negative about Miley recently. Both of the girls were aware that there was some sort of controversy over photos, but (to my surprise) neither of the two girls had seen the actual photos and were a little embarrassed when I asked them to elaborate on any details they knew about the photos. I asked if they thought Miley was a bad person and they said no. When I asked if their impression of Miley has changed, they both replied, “oh, no- we still love her.” Then one of the girls brought up the fact that Miley is older- how insightful for such an impressionable young girl, right?

For those of us “adults” who don’t yet have our heads so far up our asses covered in hypocritical bullshit, Miley posting “scandalous” photos on her MySpace isn’t exactly abnormal, either. Sure, the medium of distribution is a little different than it was 10 years ago since digital photography and the internet weren’t exactly as accessible as they are now, but in the end it’s all normal exploration of the developing curiosity that comes along with the many physical and mental changes during the teen years.

But these kinds of public exhibitions on the internet have certainly had an impact on when teens first engage in sexual intercourse, right? Yes, definitely- just not the in the way most people might like to think. I’m not saying there’s a direct relationship here, but I do find it interesting that young people are waiting longer than ever before to have sex (and they’re being safer, too!) despite all the public displays of sexuality that are destroying our youth.

Oh wait, I know. We all know that you-know-who is going to say “OMG DID YOU MAKE THAT UP?!??!” So, here’s a bit on teen sex (since that’s what most of you dirty birds want anyway)…

Maybe there’s nothing here, but being exposed to and exploring sexuality in the digital age might not be such a bad thing after all. Perhaps teenagers these days experiment on the internet by posting photos on their MySpace pages to test their comfort level when it comes to sexuality. When I was 15, this sort of testing was done by being thrust into a situation, forced to make a quick decision, then deciding afterward whether or not it was within the comfort zone. Now, teenagers are given the option to establish comfort levels at a bit of a distance and avoid situations they are not ready for in person.

But nobody is saying that to Miley, nobody is telling her that she’s still a good girl- she’s being pressured to admit that she’s the opposite. Since the Vanity Fair photos hit the scene and added more fuel to the fire, Miley made a statement saying that she is “embarrassed” (same word used by Vanessa Hudgens in response to her photo scandal) by the photos. Way to go, America. You’ve done a fantastic job of making yet another young woman feel ashamed of herself, her body, her developing mind, and her natural 15-year-old curiosities.

In reality, I think this photo (also from the Vanity Fair shoot) gives the real insight into who Miley really is:

DOESN’T SHE LOOK LIKE A LITTLE TRAMP ON HER WAY TO DEVOUR YOUR CHILDREN? No, no she doesn’t. She’s a young woman doing her job, having a good time doing it, and still finding time to be a teenager. Kudos to Miley for being able to find balance in this world.

But don’t worry, America; perhaps Miley will stop being a normal young girl who does things other normal young girls do. Or, maybe Miley will now do her normal young girl things behind closed doors, feeling like she is misunderstood, feeling like she is wrong, feeling like she is on her own, and feeling ashamed of herself.

Yeah, that sounds like a fantastic idea- it worked so well for Britney…