I wasn’t going to comment on the new Britney Spears video, despite the remarkable decision to debut it on 20/20 (of all places) on Friday. Maura over at Idolator had already said everything I was thinking about the stunt, while the rest of my thoughts on Britney ‘08 were thoroughly aired in my VMAs critique. Besides, I’m not exactly a big fan, and she’s pretty low on the list of artists in need of exposure here.

But look, it’s a holiday weekend, which means all of you are home from work, masturbating salubriously. And holy fucking shit, in this new video, Britney Spears is hotter and nakeder than I’ve ever seen her. So here’s a relatively high-quality rip of the uncensored director’s cut, and I think you’ll agree that it’s for damn sure more of a comeback than those three souvenir moon men that even Britney admits weren’t earned.

It looks like women who have been ripped off by the Creator in the looks department are going to become obsolete unless they step it up.

Naturally, our kinky friends in Japan at Sega Toys have developed a humanoid robot. She’s not exactly a FemBot or straight out of Weird Science a la Kelly LeBrock, but she does all those things you look for when you settle for an unfortunate looking girlfriend.

Ugly girls know they only get boyfriends because they give great blowjobs, can cook, or have some other special skill. Just the same, I know that I’m too much of a fucking bitch to score a man, which is why I rely on my “awesome, rockin’ tits” (may or may not be quoted from one of the undersexed men who write on this site) to land a man.

Tera Patrick is one of the most popular and widely recognized porn stars ever to exist, appearing in more than 70 films throughout her career. Her sultry, seductive voice, hourglass body and wild enthusiasm for sex have won her numerous awards and millions of fans over the years. She recently began her own production company called TeraVision with husband Evan Seinfeld, and they’ve produced more than a dozen films to date.
We were lucky enough to talk to the voluptuous vixen about her new films Teradise Island 2 and Reign Of Tera 3, not to mention everything from sexin’ it up atop an active volcano to her new aerobics video, Fit For Sex. Good times.

By the way, this interview is totally not safe for work.