Vampires In Tight Pants

After the avalanche of Twilight success, New Moon music supervisor Alexandra Patsavas was given carte blanche in putting together a hipster’s wet-dream collection for the official soundtrack. The result is a moderately-listenable batch of (mostly) new tracks from Bon Iver, Grizzly Bear, Editors and Lykke Li, with Death Cab For Cutie, The Killers and Thom Yorke providing a crossover draw for people who don’t own a single pair of girl pants or ’80s Ray-Bans. Needless to say, goths need not apply.

Yes, this means you.

Given its teen-lust cinema associations, the star-studded soundtrack’s got some serious legs already. Entertainment Weekly leads the pack in lathering on the hyperbolic slobber, giving the album an “A” rating and bestowing heaps of accolades. The compilation will undoubtedly see a top three positioning in its debut week on the Billboard charts, but let’s be honest with ourselves – that’s got just as much to do with the Twilight maniac devotion as the musical contributions. Patsavas could’ve recorded the sounds of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart making out and topped the charts with it. This Twilight franchise – and everything associated with it – is unstoppable.

That said, the record is a moderately listenable soundtrack to a melancholy rainy day, packed with various shades of shoegazing and breathless nonsense ruminations. Look at it as a way to bond with your little sister, who’s undoubtedly already downloaded the leak and burned it for all her friends.

Yorke’s much-hyped offering, Hearing Damage, is pleasantly predictable enough, despite ringing of a throwaway track from The Eraser. It’s in the same chilly, isolating vein of digital ambiance that his solo album conveyed, and he pulls it off in all his melancholy glory. Radiohead-clones-turned-Queen-riders Muse wanted to hop on this train as well, but couldn’t be bothered with a new track or deep-cut B-side; instead, we’ve got the “New Moon remix” of I Belong To You from their recently-released Resistance album.

The Killers, meanwhile, meld the Beatles and Doors for A White Demon Love Song, a track that’s got more atmosphere than potential, especially at radio. In fact, the only tracks with any real potential as singles are Ok Go’s Shooting The Moon and Death Cab’s Meet Me On The Equinox, the latter of which has already risen and faded.

Grizzly Bear kicks out the yawns with Slow Life, somehow making San Diego’s 94.9fm alum Anya Marina’s sweetfolk jam Satellite Heart seem like a line of coke. Bon Iver & St. Vincent’s duet is another sedative, stirred only slightly by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club’s somber sorrow on Done All Wrong. Hurricane Bells and Sea Wolf provide the album’s only real uptempo tracks, but arriving ten songs in, they merely serve as an jarring siren through the dreamy haze of the rest of the soundtrack.

It’s an interesting listen, if only for the snapshot of young modern white music trends. It’s like a Now That’s What I Call Music! compilation for Warhol fashion impersonators on Valium, but captures the apparent melancholy of the film, and worse missteps of taste have been made in movie soundtrack history.