Reviews > Glasvegas
Sarcasm Or Drugs Likely To Blame For Glasvegas’ Hype
By Skwerl
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
When an advance copy of Glasvegas‘ self-titled album showed up in the Antiquiet P.O. Box courtesy of Columbia Records, all I knew about them was that they had a snippet of a song called Geraldine in that commercial for Rhapsody. That one that I’ve had more than enough of, as it’s consistently made its way into every single goddamn commercial break in my epic CSI marathons. But I committed to giving it an honest review because… Well, with every other CD in the pile- You take one look at the cover and you just know it’s fucking doomed. And I had to listen to something.
After forcing myself to listen to the CD over and over again for a couple weeks while trying to ignore the rising hype, it’s just about killed me with boredom. It’s so, so hard for me to talk about the music, because it all just muddies together, and it makes me want to go off on the entire British hype empire- I swear to God, I’m starting to get the feeling that every single NME headline and review is completely sarcastic. It’s got to be, right? Or maybe crack there is like cocaine in Los Angeles? I don’t know.
Most of the disc is like ’00s U2 meets the band Mono meets the disease mono. I guess it’s decent music to mope to, if that’s your deal. Frontman James Allan isn’t really all that great of a vocalist or lyricist- I really can’t make out anything he’s saying besides the occaional baby baby or whoa oh oh. It’s not that he’s entirely unintelligible, it’s just that nothing really sounds like it’s that important. It’s as if the album was not meant to be listened to so much as put on in the background while popping downers. Everything has a very even tone, and I can’t tell a verse from a chorus from a bridge.
Usually I like it when songs flow in and out of each other on an album, but with Glasvegas, you hit play, and before you realize the first song has ended, you’re at the end of the album, no more inspired than you were when you started off.
One track is noticeably different than the rest- Stabbed. I suspect deep sarcasm. The Scots, too? Christ. So there’s this morose piano dirge, with a spoken word bit over it: I’m gonna get stabbed. Then something with an unintelligble Scottish accent that seems to end with …up my ass. You don’t want to stab me. You don’t want to stab me. Because you don’t know my family… Then something about little boys and rabbits. Run rabbit run. Run rabbit run. I don’t get it… has to be an inside joke. I just can’t imagine that anyone could have intended it to be taken seriously by any reasonable person.
I can say that Geraldine is the strongest track, able to stand alone and maybe grab an ear or two for a moment. The opening track, Flowers And Football Tops, is a close second. Both approach (but not quite achieve) a certain anthemic quality. The choruses are catchy, and the structures are poppy. So thanks to them, the disc isn’t entirely forgettable.
Glasvegas
Columbia
January 6th, 2009
1. Flowers And Football Tops
2. Geraldine
3. It’s My Own Cheating Heart That Makes Me Cry
4. Lonesome Swan
5. Go Square Go
6. Polmont On My Mind
7. Daddy’s Gone
8. Stabbed
9. S.A.D. Light
10. Ice Cream Van
- 01. Flowers & Football Tops
- 02. Geraldine
- 03. It's My Own Cheating Heart That Makes Me Cry
- 04. Lonesome Swan
- 05. Go Square Go
- 06. Polmont On My Mind
- 07. Daddy's Gone
- 08. Stabbed
- 09. S.A.D. Light
- 10. Ice Cream Van
- 11. Prettiest Thing On Saltcoats Beach [*]
- 12. Everybody's Got To Learn Sometime [*]
Dude looks like a Joe Strummer ripoff
From that picture they should have called themselves “Three poofs and a tiny lesbian”
I was thinking more along the lines of 3 James & Stump or Must Be This Tall To Ride or The White Belt Makes Me Look Taller or Only One Of Us Knew It Would Be Cold Today
as limp as a leftover erection.
Glasvegas = bored now.
But in the interest of being objective and giving music, as well as peace, a fighting chance, I will catch them at Amoeba (cuz I made absolutely no effort to get tix for the Troubadour..so bored I was). I will say that I tried. And then I’ll probably write them off permanently.
You are an arse and a racist one at that, your review reeks of racism for the Scots. You can barely disguise it, you are in a very small minority that doesn’t like this album……..abviously you will actually believe you know everything about real music compared to 80% of the music critics.
In your nasty review if you set out to insult Glasvegas you sure as hell landed up insulting all Scots.
preposterous. i love the scotch.
Well I was a good girl and gave Glas the old school try. Survey says:
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=54747273&blogID=464297331
I just may have to hate the Scotts after this. Except for William Wallace, of course.
Whoever wrote the fucking review for this album on iTunes must be on some reeeeeal good drugs. I don’t see anything Jesus & Mary Chain about this band… and i tried hard to look for it. One big melding mess of a record.
Their last single reached No98 in the UK and before that their dreadful Xmas album reached 67.
According to their guitarist they were going to be bigger than Oasis. So what happened?
Enjoy it while it lasts folks.
Elaine S said:
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:52 PM
You are an arse and a racist one at that, your review reeks of racism for the Scots. You can barely disguise it, you are in a very small minority that doesn’t like this album……..abviously you will actually believe you know everything about real music compared to 80% of the music critics.
In your nasty review if you set out to insult Glasvegas you sure as hell landed up insulting all Scots.
Elaine are you Scottish? You probably are with your victimisation rant. I am Scottish – and Glasvegas are fuckin awful. They give Scotland a horrendous name. The lead singer is the lovechild of the proclaimers and elvis. THe songs are as washed out as his jeans and his voice makes him sound like a special needs.
Any non scots put off by this band please dont abandon us, we do have Biffy CLyro!
This article was a great read! I couldn’t have said things better myself.
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