I’m sure you’ve heard of ‘em by now: two hipster rappers out of Chicago called the Cool Kids, riding an 80’s nostalgia MySpace tide with their Black Mags track. Propelled by the no-really-it’s-still-ironic rope chains and mid-eighties douchewear gimmick, the duo have become the darlings of the white hipster scene. But when a group calls themselves the “black Beastie Boys,” the red flag is visible from outer space.
So, does The Bake Sale live up to the hype? No. It’s the unit’s first release, but that hardly excuses the ungodly fucking annoyance of it all. Minimal, bass-throbbing backing tracks only provide the stage for the Kids to show their cool, and in places it’s got some real potential. There’s some promise to the rhymes, and they’ve clearly got an ear for what’s catchy, but the flow is still too green to really have any teeth. What’s worse is that the slow-and-low vocal effects in many of the hooks and choruses are uninspired and repetitive enough to make you scream.
I (Mikey) Rock and Black Mags assault my ears with the same low-fi southern rap shit that won Paul Wall his fifteen agonizing minutes a while back, but a new low is hit with Gold And A Pager, which just gets worse and worse as it goes on. Is this supposed to be ironic? Like that white guy who covered Ice Cube with an acoustic guitar? Cause it’s fucking annoying, just like a lowest-common-denominator LL Cool J impression (Jingling).
88, on the other hand, hits hard and stays strong, with a chorus lifted right out of Nas’ Made You Look. It’s one of the best tracks on the record, but the momentum goes right out the window with the limp follow-up track What It Iz- the high BPM action hosts an early nineties vibe that goes nowhere, with a repetitive chorus that makes me wonder what the fuck I’m doing reviewing this album in the first place. There’s much better hip-hop out there to get excited about.
Furthermore, somebody needs to call the cops on Bassment Party. Seriously, there’s no need to dig up that old 2 Live Crew sound. It’s one of those things we celebrated distancing ourselves from when the century turned, like Chumbawumba and Co-ed Naked t-shirts.
There’s real potential in a couple of the bonus tracks like Gettin’ It and That’ll Work, but it still just sounds mostly derivative. Kanye, Lupe and many others have done it better, and without lame shit like Flossin’ to account for.
Overall, this record is irritating as hell. It’s an overreaching attempt to be cool and ironic and appealing to all the white kids trying to get a jump on the next big thing. They try too hard and ultimately fail in their mission to conjure Erik B. & Rakim. It’s just too contrived and gimmicky to have any lasting power. Pass this shit on the left hand side and go listen to the new Raashan Ahmad or Giant Panda.
May 27th, 2008 at 11:07 AM
Oddly enough, it was the big boombox retro bullshit imagery that immediately turned me off to Raashan Ahmad, who you guys seem to really dig. Hmm.
May 27th, 2008 at 11:10 AM
The difference is in the quality, the warmth, the lyrics, the flow and the overall delivery. Apples and asparagus, night and day.
May 28th, 2008 at 2:38 PM
Coed Naked? Dont you mean Naked Coed?
Yeah this group looks stupid.
I’m tired of moist white suburbanites who move to the big city and think underground rap is cool as long as its “underground” and as long as those dangerous blacks are rapping about positive messages.
When I say whites I guess I mean to say any suburbanites, god knows ive met some annoying hispanics and asians who are all into underground rap.
Also, 80s rap is horrible. Nobody listens to it anymore but everyone acts like it deserves respect.
I’ll tell you what deserves respect, remember that goddamn hamburger at mcdonalds that had the cool side and also the hot side in a seperate styrofoam compartment so that it tasted like a normal goddamn hamburger when you ate it?
That deserves respect.
May 28th, 2008 at 2:43 PM
Crapio, wtf are you talking about? Advocating burger segregation are we?
May 28th, 2008 at 7:48 PM
I’m with Junkyard here - Your stereotypes are stale and narrow, “crapio.” Interesting that you leave out blacks when you reference the “suburbanites” who are “all into underground rap.” If through omission you mean to say that African-Americans have a built-in distaste for the genre and/or no representation in suburbia, you’re fucking retarded.
The fact is, for every Ill Bill and Jedi Mind Tricks there’s a Crown City Rockers or Mos Def to balance the “positive message” vibe. Is it not hip-hop if the flow doesn’t involve guns, threats, phallic exaggerations, bitches and cash?
Because that shit has gotten old as fuck.
An artist that focuses more on a sick groove or delivering a particular “positive message” through a flow that gets my ass in motion is justifiably and infinitely more appealing than the same old bullshit we’ve been told to believe is the pinnacle of quality.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:58 AM
hippie.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:04 PM
i gotta take crapio’s side on this one. the brother makes some valid points.
I say this as an intelligent black man.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:05 PM
for some strange reason i put crapio’s link on name but it has been fixed now and i’d prefer that you didn’t point it up.
(to be read in intelligent brother voice)
May 30th, 2008 at 1:11 PM
[...] Over To Antiquiet For Great Music News And Opinion, And People Flaming Me In the Comments on This Article About Rap [...]
May 30th, 2008 at 6:28 PM
also, african-americans is a broken, politically correct term.
My friend Brian is from South Africa. He lives in America now. But he’s white. Technically he’s african american but when you say african american you dont mean someone from africa, you mean someone black.
Say it like this: black.
Also, I like some underground rap but I still think its stupid and self-aware (read: it knows its underground rap and its’ become its own formula, with or without the bitches and guns or whatever).
Is someone going to address whether that goddamned sandwich from mcdonalds deserves respect???
Goddamn hippies. Every time i come to this site i get so angry.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:25 PM
mcdonalds deserves no respect. end of story.
well..maybe their apple pies do. END OF STORY!
July 18th, 2008 at 12:39 PM
um the cool kids is the most dope
group out right now and idk why there
always got to be haters when people like them
come out. jus give credit and if u dont like
them FINE, move on and dont disrespect, there’s
no room for that here.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:53 PM
dre! good to see you my man. you’re lookin’ pretty jacked these days.
anyway, there’s plenty of room for that here, big guy. that’s the beauty of callin’ the shots.