Friday, June 3rd 2011
News: Coldplay
Fuck You, Coldplay
The new Coldplay song is making the rounds, as you’ve no doubt seen by the frantically excited post on your mom’s Facebook or deafmute music blogs everywhere. And while everyone’s welcome to enjoy their own favorite flavor of color-by-numbers GoopRock, we’d feel that we’re neglecting you if we didn’t address the new depths of seminal gargling Coldplay has achieved this time.
Coldplay are frequent targets of copyright claims, with song-theft accusations brought against them from Joe Satriani, Cat Stevens, Creaky Boards, and then once again with unknown songwriter Sammie Lee Smith. Hell, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that those motherfuckers might have even stolen from me.
The band have set themselves up for another round of out-of-court settlements with their latest single, My Teardrops Shimmer Like Jelly or whatever the hell it’s called. The simplistic nature of the song’s main chords suggest that they aren’t exactly difficult to stumble upon, but that doesn’t mean these crumpet gobblers should be excused for sounding like U2 on shitty ecstasy at a 1994 rave. The riff is pulled directly from a decade-old track by Mystic, entitled Ritmo De La Noche.
Listen to this bargain store Eurotrash club-bait nonsense for yourself and compare:
Here’s the Mystic track, called Ritmo De La Noche, from a 2000 album called Grandmix: Summer Edition that contains, far as my ears can tell, the sounds of Vapid brand douche flowing from a neon river on Simon Cowell’s estate:
As it turns out, both songs take cues from Peter Allen’s comparatively awesome I Go To Rio:
All this detective work over a fucking Coldplay song. Somebody take this computer away from me.
Thanks, I needed a laugh today.
Lmao !!! You guys did not disappoint! I love this site! X-D
jesus, they’re like the lady gaga of guys playing guitars. i won’t say ‘rock’ because they obviously do none of that. nevertheless i echo the same word used by j firecloud..fuck you, again, coldplay. fuck you so much
Everyone has their own opinions. Don’t like something, no need for name calling.What’s wrong with GaGa? She makes pop music, she never claims it’s art. The media may have labelled whatever she does. Coldplay makes pop music, it was classified as rock or whatsoever. Classification is never the artist’s intention. Most music are influenced in one way or another. Wether it’s blatant rip off is subjective.
So your brain needs to reorientate
First of all, dude, you need some serious lessons in grammar, punctuation, and syntax.. It’s damn near impossible to take you seriously because you write like a retard.
I like to give some of the harder-to-read commenters the benefit of the English-as-a-second-language doubt. But it’s probably just the lolspeak generation taking over.
First of all, dude, it doesnt matter what his grammar is like, we all know that you fucking understood what he said, your just angry and dont want to agree
I have no problem with you guys hating on Coldplay, but as I understand it, the author of the original riff has a writing credit on the song. So it’s more like when they sampled Kraftwerk a few years ago, only funnier. I’m guessing any band that gets sued as much as they do vets this stuff pretty thoroughly
so i guess they’re more like the p. diddy of guys with guitars. oh, wait, i’m sorry, the swag of guys with guitars. diddy changed his name again, didn’t he?
these guys are the musical equivalent of snorting anti-freeze, i’m more than with you there, but the term “crumpet gobblers” is an assbackwards degree of silly. you can do better than that, johnny
Actually seeing it in quotes made me laugh again at the line. It stays.
Worst Coldplay song ever. I go to rio is amazing though.
Johnny Firecloud, I am in awe of you. I lay prostate at your altar and worship you… :O (Keep up the good work on this great site, long live Antiquiet!)
I actually met Coldplay at a radio gig in Miami when they were new. I got to ask the first question..”Who are your influences?” They said, no lie, “We steal from everyone, U2, Beatles and so many more”..
having said that..
I fucking love their music..to each his own opinion..I loved this article too! and I fucking love Antiquiet..haha!
The success of Coldplay will never cease to amaze me, except I don’t really care. I don’t like them any more than you do, but I fear even talking about them is making your site a bit less cool.
On the other hand, “Codplay” would be a great name for a glam or sleaze band.
So, which would be worse: that the Coldplay song is a blatant rip-off, or that it’s evidence they have the same level of songwriting craft and creativity as Simon Cowell?
Although, I’m sure we can all agree – Peter Allen is a god amongst men.
*cough, cough* just jealous that you cant write a song that went multi-platinum in 30 countries, even if they got sued *cough,cough*
You have to give Coldplay some credit: they made that “Gitmo de la Roche” song actually listenable. However, Peter Allen owns in the end.
i actually used to like those guys in the beginning. but with every album, they suck more and more. i tried to listen to that, but i clawed my ears bloody whilst looking for a way to stop it from coming out of the speakers. please kill me.
You effing Douche. Your ears did not bleed, if they did, show me proof dumb-ass
Fuck you all, Coldplay sucks and this article is pure awesomness.
It makes my heart warm, and puts a smile on my face.
Fuck Coldplay.
Haha! Did Coldplay steal your record deal? Calm down…
You know what makes my heart warm? When goth people try and be anti-conformist by being exactly like each other. Get a life, fag.
I listen to Coldplay often and I enjoy all of their music. Every band rips off one another… They add different elements to original riffs, beats, rhythms and lyrics… Led Zeppelin was sued by Willie Dixon and Muddy Waters for “Whole Lotta Love”. Don’t see any of you bitching about that… Coldplay isn’t for everyone, so don’t listen if you don’t like it. This article was funny though.
Once you give me proof that you or one of your lame-ass supporters ( including the retarded chimp) can make a good song, fuck you. Your just jealous of their success.
Oh also, everyone has an opinion. Your opinion is just wrong.
Look who’s three months late to the party!
Fashionably Late
I think my name pretty much brings my point across.
My god, does it! So since it’s only you and I reading your nonsense, what else have you got?
I’ve got a lot more, but your not worthy. Besides, I’m just trollin. I actually really like your website.
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