Thursday, September 30th 2010
News: Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame
Your Guide To The 2011 Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Nominees
Contain yourself: The 2011 Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame nominees, who may or may not win a chicken dinner and a place in Cleveland’s Rock And Roll Hall Of fame, have been announced.
As we know from many previous lists and televised induction ceremonies, the qualifications for admittance are that as a rock artist or rock affiliate (manager/roadie, producer/boyfriend, lawyer/songwriter), you have to have been in business for at least 25 years, know a guy who knows some guys, and be willing to sing your biggest hit onstage in an awkward jam session with Bruce Springsteen, Cher, and Lemmy.
Nominees should have provided something substantial to the rock gene pool past a hairstyle and a pop hit even your great-grandmother likes, but that’s not always the case. Here is a quick guide to who is who, what is what, and is also a shameless flailing attempt to influence the HOF voters.
1. Alice Cooper
Pros: A minister’s son who grew up to be a rock gore theater pioneer and wrote catchy rock anthems about being 18, getting out of school, and women’s periods is appropriate and good.
Cons: Complained that Vampire Weekend was not a bunch of fake scary rock dudes in leather pants; golfs.
Vote: YES
2. Beastie Boys
Pros: Brought innovative, funny, stylish hip hop pop to the white kids.
Cons: Those accents can get to you after awhile.
Vote: YES
3. Bon Jovi
Pros: Cute, jovial, hard-working.
Cons: So’s my hair stylist.
Vote: NO
4. Chic
Pros: What? No.
Cons: This group who produced moronic repetitive disco hits had nothing whatsoever to do with rock and roll.
Vote: NO NO NO
5. Neil Diamond
Pros: Banged out a string of giant pop singles in the ‘60s.
Cons: Should be denied for The Jazz Singer and terrible hair alone.
Vote: TEPID YES
6. Donovan
Pros: Started out aping Dylan, but then started writing giant pop hits in the ‘60s that were actually rather cute, trippy, and clever.
Cons: Single name usage; hippie.
Vote: YES
7. Dr. John
Started out aping Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, but became a fine ambassador for the wealth of musical styles found in his hometown of New Orleans; not Aaron Neville.
Cons: Did a Popeye’s Chicken commercial; not really a physician.
Vote: YES
8. J. Geils Band
Pros: Not terrible.
Cons: Long-lived competent bar band with an R&B bent does not make for legend.
Vote: NO
9. LL Cool J
Pros: Ladies And Many Others Love Cool James, or did back in the MTV-Discovers-Palatable-Rap Days; admirable long-term hustle.
Cons: G.O.A.T.? Meh-eh-eh-eh; not a rock artist.
VOTE: SYMPATHETIC NO
10. Darlene Love
Pros: Phil Spector used her uncredited big vocals to support countless other big names; came back for credit years later; Phil’s in jail.
Cons: That she’s not in the HOF already, shame on you, Nasty Museum.
Vote: YES
11. Laura Nyro
Pros: Funky Bronx-born white girl with soul-folk style wrote great big hits for many others; beloved by rock’s top songwriters; paved the way for quirky girls like Joanna Newsom and Fiona Apple; massively influential.
Cons: Late; she died in 1997.
Vote: YES
12. Donna Summer
Pros: Pretty.
Cons: A career of musical theater, vapid disco, and weak pop is not museum-worthy.
Vote: NO
13. Joe Tex
Pros: Hot-off-the-griddle high-energy soul man with a great stage name; fought with James Brown over dance moves and girls; pre-rap rapper.
Cons: Incredibly late; he died in 1982.
Vote: HELLYES
14. Tom Waits
Pros: Gravel-voiced rock vaudevillian; the Californian Lou Reed?; unshakable in artistic intent; outsmarted the music business by becoming influential despite it.
Cons: Grating, over-the-top, predictable, which describes most rock and roll, really.
Vote: YES
15. Chuck Willis
Pros: “The King Of the Stroll” brought a cool R&B vibe to early rock and roll; covered Ma Rainey’s great blues song C.C. Rider and brought it to a bigger audience.
Cons: Talk about late! He died in 1958!
Vote: YES
Well, no matter who gets voted in this time I am sure each will enjoy their big night and praise from their peers and bespectacled pop music historians, even if one of the winners arrives in a tuxedo-clad urn of ashes. Rock on!
Bon Jovi have sold over 120 MILLION albums, and have been an active band since 1983. Just count to 120 million and then tell me they don’t deserve it.
im sure Britney Spears and nickelback has sold lots of albums as well. doesn’t mean they deserve awards/ hall of fame
Popular = Good
See, just like:
Not Popular = Good
I concur wholeheartedly with neil diamond’s hair disqualifying him, it’s not at all conducive with ROCK and/or ROLL. LL Cool J, on the other hand, should be inducted just for his amazing performance in Deep Blue Sea with that song ‘mah head is like a shark’s fin!’
to, not with*
I’m still counting to 120 million, shh.
Neil Diamond wrote the fucking playbook on songs of isolation. Without him, we have no emo. Neil Diamond is a fucking Golden God. I would give a kidney to that man if it meant him singing Kentucy Woman for the world for another five years. He is that important to me. Fingers crossed he makes it in.
With the exception of a few on this list, it’s a pretty lame induction if you ask me. I will say that Neil Diamond gets in on this song alone !
“Everywhere around the world They’re coming to America, Every time that flag’s unfurled, They’re coming to America!” …….Classic
Let’s see:
Beastie Boys = yes (fine and deserved).
L.L. = no.
That wouldn’t lead to accusations of racism or anything. L.L. is a lock – long career, still semi-relevant, moderately influential, stayed popular despite the development of rap, and of course “I’m gonna knock you out.”
Donna Summer = no.
She’s the disco goddess of the era. If you don’t elect her, you elect no one from the genre except the BeeGees. Now, there’s no prog in the HoF, so they are fine with ignoring genres. Maybe I’m wrong but I can’t see how she doesn’t get in.
the answer to both questions is that it’s the rock and roll hall of fame, not the hip-hop hall of fame, or disco hall of fame. as lefsetz said, ll cool j can be in the hip-hop hall of fame, when russell simmons builds it.
It’s a “Rock and Roll” HoF in name only now considering Grandmaster Flash and Run DMC are already in it. So the argument non-rock acts shouldn’t be inducted is irrelevant.
Dunno about your call on Chic. Maybe if it was just Nile Rodgers. After Chic he produced for Diana Ross, David Bowie, Madonna and a whole bunch of 80s artists (the list is pretty long) on some of their biggest hits. And he was a member of the Honeydrippers with Robert Plant, Jimmy Page and Jeff Beck. So I reckon he has all the credentials to be enrolled, maybe not Chic as a group. To be honest though, who cares about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame anymore? In fact, did anyone ever?
I thought about the Nile Rodgers thing, but he can go in as a producer. Chic is just silly.
I have to agree, Nile rodgers fits in there somehwere. Induction-worthy? Maybe not this time, but certainly at some point. Yet once again, though, NO FUCKING NOMINATION FOR RUSH!!!! That is bullshit, pure and simple.
Oh dear.
I agree 100%
Rush needs to be in the hall. Shame Madonna is in, yet the three man army is not.