First published as an installment of our Christmas Songs Mixtape series in 2008, this mix focuses on a batch of tracks that are either altogether on the side of laughably stupid shredding (Spinal Tap) or face-meltingly metal (King Diamond). Whatever the case, these are some of the best and brightest metal renditions of Christmas favorites you’ll find.

Rawkit. And have a very metal Christmas while you’re at it.

Arctic Monkeys: Crying Lightning

I’ve been a huge fan of Arctic Monkeys from the first moment I heard them. This is the lead single from their forthcoming Humbug, co-produced by Josh Homme of Queens Of The Stone Age. We’re excited and you should be too.

The Builders And The Butchers: When It Rains

This one’s a rarity, from The Builders And The Butchers’ split with Loch Lomond. Is it their most amazing song ever? Not quite. But as this mixtape shaped up, themes started to develop; rain and kings and woods and storms and soul, and this just fell right into place. In case you missed them, review and interview.

Portugal. The Man: The Woods

So happy you guys are feeling me on the recommendation of this album. So good.

Spinnerette: A Spectral Suspension

Reactions to our coverage of Spinnerette has been mixed, and I myself was a little skeptical at first, despite being a huge Distillers fan. But the album grew on me, and this is my favorite track.

Clutch: King Of Arizona

Another rarity. This one’s from Bam Margera’s Viva La Bands Volume 2. Clutch is cool.

Red Fang: Prehistoric Dog

Red Fang is also cool. Dig this song? You should check out the video for it here.

The Dead Weather: I Cut Like A Buffalo

To tell you the truth, I didn’t expect a lot from the Dead Weather album. I’m a big Jack White fan, but it just kinda seemed like a novelty project. It surprised me. Not the album of the year, but the good tracks are outstanding. Here’s one.

Raashan Ahmad: Soul Train (w/ Wafeek & Ragen Fykes)

Full disclosure: We’ve been following Raashan for a long time- he was one of our first interviews actually, if I recall correctly. But that was all Johnny. I didn’t dislike him, I just didn’t care.

But over time, I came around. I caught Crown City Rockers at Temple Bar, and they put on a hell of a show. And when Raashan played our Rock For Justice benefit show back in May, he brought the fucking house down. Raashan’s an awesome guy, a positive energy, and Soul Power is a party in a box. We’re proud to have launched Antiquiet Releases with it.

Soulsavers: Kingdom Of Rain

I don’t know how we missed this band. They’re a British production / remix duo, but their music is anything but electronic sounding, and they’ve been employing none other than Mark Lanegan as their lead vocalist, along with an amazing list of guests including Mike Patton of Faith No More, and Gibby Haynes of Butthole Surfers.

This track is from their 2007 album It’s Not How Far You Fall, It’s The Way You Land. Their third, entitled Broken, is due out in August. We’ll have a review up very soon. It’s a great album.

Rx Bandits: White Lies

I’ve been aware of this band for a long time, but the few tracks I had heard didn’t really grab me. After seeing our review of the Portugal. The Man album, Sargent House sent us this one, thinking we’d like it. Amazingly, they were right. I’ve been listening to it over and over. There’s something I can’t quite put my finger on that kept me from falling head over heels in love with it immediately, but I can’t deny what a great band they’ve become, and the album has been growing on me more and more with each listen. We’ll have a full review up in a day or two.

Radiohead: Street Spirit (Fade Out)

You know this song. You’ve heard it a million times. So have I. But Johnny recently showed me a quote of Thom Yorke’s, where he explained where the song came from. It brought a whole new level of appreciation for its gravity:

“Street Spirit is our purest song, but I didn’t write it. It wrote itself. We were just its messengers; its biological catalysts. Its core is a complete mystery to me, and, you know, I wouldn’t ever try to write something that hopeless. All of our saddest songs have somewhere in them at least a glimmer of resolve. Street Spirit has no resolve. It is the dark tunnel without the light at the end. It represents all tragic emotion that is so hurtful that the sound of that melody is its only definition. We all have a way of dealing with that song. It’s called detachment. Especially me; I detach my emotional radar from that song, or I couldn’t play it. I’d crack. I’d break down on stage. That’s why its lyrics are just a bunch of mini-stories or visual images as opposed to a cohesive explanation of its meaning. I used images set to the music that I thought would convey the emotional entirety of the lyric and music working together. That’s what’s meant by ‘all these things you’ll one day swallow whole.’ I meant the emotional entirety, because I didn’t have it in me to articulate the emotion. I’d crack…

Our fans are braver than I to let that song penetrate them, or maybe they don’t realise what they’re listening to. They don’t realise that Street Spirit is about staring the fucking devil right in the eyes, and knowing, no matter what the hell you do, he’ll get the last laugh. And it’s real, and true. The devil really will get the last laugh in all cases without exception, and if I let myself think about that too long, I’d crack.

I can’t believe we have fans that can deal emotionally with that song. That’s why I’m convinced that they don’t know what it’s about. It’s why we play it towards the end of our sets. It drains me, and it shakes me, and hurts like hell every time I play it, looking out at thousands of people cheering and smiling, oblivious to the tragedy of its meaning, like when you’re going to have your dog put down and it’s wagging its tail on the way there. That’s what they all look like, and it breaks my heart. I wish that song hadn’t picked us as its catalysts, and so I don’t claim it. It asks too much. I didn’t write that song.”

Nico Vega: Beast

I kinda hit the snooze button with this band at first. There was some buzz around LA, their name got dropped on me here and there, but with only their name to go on, I took them for some sort of psychedelic shoegaze folk band or something. I was way off.

Take the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ formula, but replace the New York with some Los Angeles. Take out the indie spaz-outs and replace that with some good old fashioned (occasionally cocky) rock n’ roll. Serve warm and sweaty.

Electric Six: Dirty Ball

I don’t think Johnny or I have ever made a mix CD without some Electric Six on it somewhere. This one’s off their latest, which we had sex with in September. Put it in your ear hole and be liberated.

John Lennon: Steel And Glass (Outtake Version)

I first heard this song when Dios Malos covered it at the Buddyhead Holiday Party last year. Fucking blew me away. Joel sent me this obscure outtake version, which his cover was based on.

Portugal. The Man: And I
Pop Levi: Semi-Babe

We’ve talked about these two (very different) bands a lot here over the past year or so. I won’t beat broken unicorns- just check ‘em out.

Grant Lee Buffalo: Mockingbirds

Obscure 90s alt rock deep cut. A kid named Coz I grew up with was all about Grant Lee Buffalo’s Mighty Joe Moon one summer about a million years ago. They probably have a ton of great tracks, but only this one managed to permanently lodge itself into my soul. You can find it in the jukebox at Spaceland in Silverlake last I checked. Blow the hipsters’ minds with it next time you’re there.

William Elliott Whitmore: Hard Times

I love this song. And I just realized that It’s one of the simplest, musically, ever written. The verse is one chord. The chorus is one chord. And there’s a little bridge part that’s one chord. If you own a guitar, you can probably already play this song. A, D, E.

But that’s the mark of a truly ageless song. I don’t mean a song that’s still cool 2 decades years after it’s written. I’m talking a song that’s still cool 2 centuries after it’s written.

Only a true artist can make a song this good with so little. The guitar and vocals are really just accompanying Will’s old soul.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Dull Life

It took me a little while to come around to this album. Johnny called it their best to date when he reviewed it, and I was skeptical. But he was right.

Nine Inch Nails: Non-Entity
Jane’s Addiction: Pig’s In Zen

We’re excited for the NIN/JA 2009 tour, despite the cheesy but inevitable name. Here I could say something overly romantic about the energy these bands brought to the music scene in the 90s and how them getting back together for one last jaunt could wake the record industry out of its coma. But the fact of the matter is it’s been brain-dead for years, and all we’re really hoping is that after these bands retire, we’re fortunate enough to have something half as good around, to keep us all from blowing our brains out.

The NIN track comes off their free NIN/JA tour sampler, an outtake from With Teeth. The Jane’s track is one of a few that made a fan out of me. It found its way onto a few memorable road trip mixes when Johnny and I lived survived in San Diego.

Res: They-Say Vision

Res is one third of Idle Warship, and an artist I’ve been a fan of for years. I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but we’re going to be doing something really exciting with Res here very soon. She deserves the chance Geffen never gave her… in a very big way.

As a shorthand way of doing that, I’ve put together a little mixtape of my favorite tracks lately; some are old, some are new, some are entirely uncalled for. But they all kick ass.

We’ve covered the low end of the spectrum, so it only seems fair to bestow you with the gifts of our aural pleasures. Can’t have one without the other, now can we? That would defeat our entire purpose, which is to call bullshit, right wrongs, be a beaming lighthouse in a fog of repugnant hackery and crap- but most of all, to inspire. To help point out the diamonds in the coal.

1. Puscifer: The Mission

I largely dismissed Puscifer after hearing a few songs sometime last year, but Maynard’s not totally wasting his time on this little project. This is the latest single, and it features Milla Jovovich (yeah, the chick from The Fifth Element and Resident Evil) on split vocal duty. Dark, minimalist, slithery and oozing sex- that’s Puscifer. If you dig this track, check out Momma Sed. Good jam.

2. 8mm: No Way Back

This is the song that hooked me on Juliette and Sean Beavan, better known to the world as 8mm. Hypnotic trip-hop slow jams dripping with sensuality is the name of their game, as Juliette’s silky, breathless vocals glide above the dark wave of Sean’s post-industrial instrumental backdrop; their target audience could probably be found where Massive Attack and Tricky intersect- and that’s a damn good place to find yourself.

If you haven’t seen the details yet, 8mm is headlining our Valentine’s party on Feb 7th (if you’re free and in or around LA on the 7th, head on down, we wanna meet you, feed you, get you drunk and rock you out).

3. Kings Of Leon: Crawl

We’re not above admitting our mistakes here, and I’ve gotta cop to feeling more than a twinge of regret when I look at our Best Albums of 2008 lists and don’t see Kings Of Leon there. Only By The Night is one of the most consistently solid albums to come out in recent memory, and it’s a big step up for the brothers Followill, who seem to have found a clear direction in their sound. It’s a fantastic record, and it probably should have been as high as #2 on the list. Live and learn, I suppose.

4. Pop Levi: Dita Dimoné

Pop Levi is one of the most fascinating live acts I’ve seen, because he indisputably marches to his own beat, mixing rock with electro-synth weirdness in an irresistibly refreshing way. His uncanny ability to inject fun pop sensibility into avant-garde jams from another dimension is precisely why we’re thrilled that he’s on the bill for our first show (again, Feb 7th, come on down).

5. Jack Conte: The Greatest Hoax

Jack Conte never ceases to amaze me with his versatility, hyperactive creativity and overall genuine humanity. While most artists typically revel in the hyperbolic affections of fans, Conte seems genuinely concerned with making a true connection, touching spirits while pulling you upwards with an Incubus-meets-Radiohead-in-the-future kind of sound. This is my favorite track off his new Sleep In Color EP, which you should definitely check out.

Fight Like Apes: Do You Karate?

I don’t know as much as I’d like to about these guys beyond that they’re from Dublin, and I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of singer Maykay’s bad days. But the energy is high, the melody shines and the frantic delivery and melodic gravity leave me trying to decide whether I’ve got a crush on the girl or I’m afraid of her. Those are the worst kind.

7. Busta Rhymes: Don’t Touch Me (Remix w/ Nas, Lil’ Wayne, Big Daddy Kane, The Game and a bunch of other fuckers)

This track single-handedly re-sparked my love for Busta- There’s about 35 guest vocalists, but it’s neck-snappingly relentless, like running up a mountain on an 8-ball of speed. A favorite around here, for sure.

8. Ludacris: One More Drink (w/ T-Pain)

Never in hell did I think T-Pain would ever, ever be a presence on this site, but I was too high on some kind of Hollywood sunshine vibe the other day to notice what was going on with the radio in the car, or the fact that I was rockin’ the hell out to a Ludacris song. Ever since Indie 103.1fm in Los Angeles went to Taco Town, radio listening has been about as fulfilling as a liquid-fiberglass enema. I already said my piece on that particular topic, but essentially shit is all fucked up on the radio in LA these days, and I’ve found myself listening to some weird sounds lately as a result. But really, I may have hit my head somewhere, cause this song is kicking my ass tonight.

9. Electric Six: Take Me To Your Leader

I think I’ve already made my case for the splintery ball of awesome that is Electric Six. This track’s about as deep as you can get in the E6 catalogue- it’s a demo from the days when they were known as Wildbunch. Love it. Fear it.

10. Fleet Foxes: Mykonos

Sure, the first 30 seconds or so will most likely have you wondering what the hell kind of Celtic folk song this is, but the CSNY changeup around two and a half minutes in is the kind of high-powered, beautiful soul-folk harmony we haven’t seen in more than 30 years. And it’s fucking fantastic. Give ‘em a shot.

11. Crowded House: Weather With You

Another house favorite here at Antiquiet. If your parents had good taste in music in the ’80s (a goddamn musical minefield if there ever was one), chances are you’re familiar with a couple songs by Neil Finn and Co. This song- about the impact a person’s attitude can have on the people and area around them- actually hit in 1991, but I didn’t discover it until many years later- having been distracted by a bunch of flannel-wearing long-haired hippies at the time. But it’s a true classic, something I’d love to cover someday.

Side Note: Neil’s kid, Liam Finn, has developed into quite the musician himself. He opened Eddie Vedder’s solo tours last year, and puts on a hell of a live show. Check him out if you get a chance.

12. Kanye West: Streetlights

This understated big-beat ballad is a leap forward into prog-pop, with building percussion, female backups and a pulsing central melody featuring some of Kanye’s most refreshingly humbled lyrics to date. Fuck what you heard- 808s And Heartbreak is a damn good record.

13. Mark Ronson: Tomorrow (w/ Debi Nova & Q-Tip)

I’m always concerned that the last song of a mix will be a weak exit or uninteresting. I’ve got nothing to worry about with this one. It’s a track off the Here Comes The Fuzz compilation. Debi Nova’s glorious, Q-Tip is butter as ever, and Mark Ronson works his white-boy-genius magic all up in these guts. Rock it loud and proud. Thanks for listening.

That being said, welcome to the first installment of our Christmas Songs Mixtape series. We’ll be posting a new batch of songs every few days until the big X, each mix pulling from a different genre or style for your aural delight. 

This collection is, quite obviously, a heavy metal Christmas mixtape, focusing on a batch of tracks that are either altogether on the side of laughably stupid shredding (Spinal Tap) or face-meltingly metal (King Diamond). Whatever the case, these are some of the best and brightest metal renditions of Christmas favorites you’ll find.

[Skwerl says:] I’m delighted that Johnny picked my Tomahawk selection to lead off the mix, because it’ll help me articulate an important difference between experiencing music via iPod, versus the live experience. There are bands- Tool for example- that are “great” live, in that everything is so tight and calculated, you get to hear the music exactly how you expect it, with the benefit of the full dynamic range only a live band in front of your human ears can produce. Many are immensely satisfied by this, but not me. I’ve been to many concerts, and when I try and pick out the top three or five most amazing experiences, the ones that surprised me bubble to the top. Also, many factors that have nothing to do with the music factor in for me- how crowded the venue was for instance, or how anal security was. I saw Tomahawk at the Trocadero theater in Philadelphia in 2001, and it remains ranked among my top concert experiences of all time, for a number of reasons. But most of all for the energy this band has, led by the non compos mentis Mike Patton is nearly unrivaled among today’s working bands… The (International) Noise Conspiracy being the only exception I can think of at the moment. This video is a pretty good example.

Radiohead- Idioteque

My intention was to include Radiohead’s performance of Idioteque from their SNL appearance a bunch of years ago, for the simple fact that Thom Yorke flails around like an epileptic elf monkey the entire time. Then I found this version, from a show they did in Paris, which effectively kicks the shit out of the one I had in mind. The delivery, the frantic energy, the lights, the atmospherics- it captures everything that’s awesome about a live Radiohead show.

The White Stripes- Ugly As I Seem

[Skwerl says:] I knew Johnny already had a great White Stripes track picked out, but I couldn’t cut this selection. There are guitarists more technically skilled than Jack White, but few can communicate through their instruments with such flair, with such soul. I get chills when the chorus hits.

Jane’s Addiction- The Price I Pay

[Skwerl says:] I should hate Dave Navarro- he’s entirely too good looking to be a respectable musician. But Jesus Christ. This is magical. I saw this lineup of Jane’s Addiction in 2003, and they fucking killed.
[Johnny:] Goddamn right. These guys wrote the book on hedonistic junkie gypsy rock. 

Pete Philly & Perquisite- Womb To Tomb

It blows my mind that so few people are familiar with this hip-hop duo from Amsterdam. After two impressive albums of inimitably smooth flow over sick breakbeat / jazz / soul instrumentals (Mindstate and Mystery Repeats), Pete Philly & Perquisite are a bright red blip on Antiquiet’s radar. We expect big things for them in ‘09.

Nine Inch Nails- The Becoming (Still Version)

[Skwerl says:] So many bands try to be Nine Inch Nails by stacking up layers of distortion and noise on 128 guitar tracks, screaming through filters and hiding behind effects. What makes Nine Inch Nails so fucking awesome is that they can unplug everything and be just as powerful.

Queens Of The Stone Age- Long Slow Goodbye

[Skwerl says:] If I could pull up a high quality video of any performed version of a particular song, my first choice for this one would not be this version from Sessions@AOL, but the one dedicated to the late Natasha Shneider that closed her tribute. It was the most emotional moment I’ve ever experienced at a show. Regardless, this has always been a great song, and this is a great performance of it.

Pearl Jam- Given To Fly

Easily the most difficult selection of the batch, for the simple fact I can rattle off a good 25 unforgettably awesome Pearl Jam performances without a moment’s pause. This is from the band’s Single Video Theory mini-doc, which chronicles the making of their nearly flawless 5th album, Yield. The song is a personal favorite- not necessarily for the Going To California melodic nod or Christish narrative, but because of the arrangement and passion behind the delivery. It helps set the inner compass.

Mos Def- Close Edge

I remember seeing this on Chappelle’s Show a few years back and losing my shit. The stupid grin on Dave’s face said it all as he drove around town with Mos Def riding shotgun, spitting rhymes over a backing tape and making it look easy enough for anybody to do. The casual performance made the track that much more captivating, because it comes off like a freestyle (it’s not- you can find it on The New Danger).

The White Stripes- Death Letter  

It may be a cliche, but that doesn’t make it untrue: to fully appreciate the White Stripes, you’ve gotta see them live. On a bad night, Jack White’s a six-string demon waist-deep in delta blues- but when he catches fire onstage, there’s no stopping the guy as he tears off solo after squealing, stuttering, frantic solo, throwing verses from other songs into the mix and generally acting like a man possessed. Their Coachella set in 2003 changed my life, due in no small part to the fact that Jack was furious that he couldn’t hear himself in the monitors, and channeled his frustrations into a jaw-droppingly blistering performance that easily ranks among the top live shows I’ve ever seen.

Clutch- Profits Of Doom 

Finding a good live Clutch video was no small feat, as the band’s had a nasty habit of touring shitty clubs for the nearly two decades that they’ve been together. Doesn’t exactly make for good audio/visuals in replay. I was determined, though, and found this tasty gem off their landmark Blast Tyrant record. You can find this version on the Sounds Of The Underground Vol. 1 DVD.

Ben Harper & Eddie Vedder- Indifference

Nevermind that this performance took place at an ill-fated Nader rally at Madison Square Garden in 2000. There’s no mistaking the humility and respect between these two musicians as they play the final cut off Pearl Jam’s Vs. By the look on Harper’s face as he introduces the song’s author, it’s clear that this is a special moment for him. As a huge fan of both artists, it was for me as well.

Sigur Rós- Staralfur 

This song reduces me to iridescent jelly every time. It could serve as a doorbell chime to heaven or a soundtrack to crushing heartbreak, or both, depending on the listener. This version is from their Heima documentary, a must-see for anyone curious about the best thing to come out of Iceland since Bjork.

Honorable mentions:
Bruce Springsteen w/ Tom Morello, The Ghost Of Tom Joad
Eddie Vedder, Jeff Ament, John Densmore, Rahat Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, The Long Road

But I digress. Here’s the jams, kids. Turn ‘em up.

Rock Show
Cover: Electric Six
Original: Peaches

Like Electric Six needs any more reason to be awesome. This Peaches jam is a perfect fit, furthering suspicions that a collaboration between the two artists would induce mass fucking in the streets, fists pumping in the air, hair flying everywhere. 

Gravel Road 
Cover: Clutch
Original: Mississippi Fred McDowell

Another precious gem stolen from the kingdom of dead black blues heroes. But hey, Clutch can do no wrong.

No Diggity
Cover: Klaxons
Original: Blackstreet

What do you want? No apologies, no excuses. Not exactly among the best cover songs ever, but it’s a badass song, and reminds me of a time when shit seemed a lot less complicated. I don’t know anything about Klaxons, but I might have to give em a look after hearing this.

How Soon is Now?
Cover: Quicksand
Original: The Smiths

Quicksand was a rockingly awesome group out of the 90s New York post-hardcore scene that not enough people know about, and they made this Smiths jam their own. Check out their album Slip. These guys died out too soon.

Sympathy For The Devil
Cover: Guns N’ Roses
Original: The Rolling Stones

This Stones cover is the last track the band ever recorded together, a fitting final send-off to the true soul of Guns N’ Fuckin’ Roses. If only I could shake the picture of Scientologist vampires killing Christian Slater when I hear it…

Have A Cigar
Cover: Foo Fighters
Original: Pink Floyd

In the summer of 2000, Brian May of Queen teamed up with Grohl and the gang for this brutal Pink Floyd cover, which Dave affectionately calls “the most punk rock thing Pink Floyd ever did.” I happen to agree. It’s also on a movie soundtrack, but I’ve already made one reference to Tom Cruise. 

Death Letter
Cover: The White Stripes
Original: Son House

On this Son House classic and Stripes concert staple, Jack White proves his blues chops beyond a shadow of doubt. Often, he’ll stretch the song to 7 or 9 minutes with thrashing epileptic solos and snippets of other songs. This easily qualifies among the greatest cover songs ever.

Friend Of The Devil
Cover: Ministry, Bridge School Benefit 1994
Original: The Grateful Dead

Ministry covering the Dead? What the fuck? Magic happens at the Bridge School Benefit, kids. That’s all I can say. 

Masters Of War
Cover: Eddie Vedder & G.E. Smith
Original: Bob Dylan

Like I said on Vol. 1, this mix could have been comprised entirely of Pearl Jam songs. A cornerstone performance for any PJ fan, this Dylan cover is easily as passionate and poignant as the original. A then-28-year-old Vedder and SNL bandleader G.E. Smith took the stage at a star-studded Dylan tribute concert in 1992, breathing new life and urgency into a song written a full generation earlier. Sixteen years later, the ass-kickery hasn’t diminished a bit.

Teenage Kicks
Cover: The Raconteurs
Original: The Undertones

The sound ain’t great, but the song fucking crushes, and inspired me to dig up the original after figuring out the guitar part and rockin it till the neighbors pounded on the walls. That’s what it’s all about, so by default it deserves a spot here.

Bring The Pain
Cover: Mindless Self Indulgence
Original: Method Man

I’m still trying to wrap my head around MSI, but there’s no denying that they took this one and ran like hell. Besides, anyone who would set himself on fire and walk through the crowd to scare off a beefneck asshole who kept throwing shit at him at least deserves a listen.  I mean fuck, even G.G. Allin had an audience. 

Sonic Reducer
Cover: Pearl Jam
Original: Dead Boys

That’s right, more Pearl Jam. This crushing Dead Boys cover was side A on PJ’s 1992 fan club Christmas single. They’ve done a million versions of this song in concert, but this one’s particularly awesome. Oh yeah, and I took this picture standing next to Skwerl in San Francisco.

Billie Jean 
Cover: Chris Cornell
Original: Michael Jackson

This cover wasn’t represented properly on Cornell’s last solo record, but the energy and passion that sucked me into Seasons and Temple Of The Dog is evident in full form on this live version. I can’t stand most of the shit Chris has put out since leaving Audioslave, but this is a great interpretation of a pedophyllic weirdo classic.

Hazy Shade Of Winter 
Cover: The Bangles
Original: Simon & Garfunkel

I grew up with this song, thanks to my 80s-pop-loving mom. I had no idea it was actually a cover. Consider it a prelude to a Best 80s Covers mixtape, taking up bandwidth on a server near you this fall.

Buick Makane / Big Dumb Sex
Cover: Guns N’ Roses
Original: T-Rex / Soundgarden

So there’s been a lot of talk about Guns N’ Roses around here lately, and a lot of trash talk directed towards their last ‘real’ album, the covers disc The Spaghetti Incident. Granted, the selection of songs was kinda weird, but sometimes weird can be fucking awesome, such as this strange multiracial siamese twin.

Helter Skelter
Cover: Mötley Crüe
Original: The Beatles

Sacrilege right? Drunken half-witted Sunset Boulevard gutter trash covering the finest, most respected pop group in the history of the universe. Whatever. If you can still stand to listen to the original after hearing this version, pack up your shit, step away from the rock and roll, and go home to mommy and daddy.

Buddy Holly
Cover: Biffy Clyro
Original: Weezer

This is some scottish rock group that seems to be fairly famous everywhere but here in the US. I don’t know a whole lot about them, but this track showed up on some Kerrang! compilation, and I couldn’t help but fall in love.

Toxic
Cover: Local H
Original: Britney Spears

Of all the tongue in cheek ironic covers of megahit pop songs by megaunknown indie bands, this is one of the best. I believe it was posted on the band’s website as a Christmas gift to fans a few years back.

Metro
Cover: System Of A Down
Original: Berlin

I’m not a big fan of System Of A Down, but there are at least two songs that they’ve done amazing covers of: This one, and Snowblind by Black Sabbath.

Valerie
Cover: Mark Ronson w/ Amy Winehouse
Original: The Zutons

Mark Ronson’s latest album, Version, is basically a best-of covers compilation in and of itself. There are tons of great ones on there, all creative and radically different from the originals. This is one of my favorites, and it helped turn me onto The Zutons; particularly their second album, Tired Of Hanging Around, where the original can be found.

Black Steel
Cover: Tricky
Original: Public Enemy

Tricky is a fucking musical genius, and this revision of Public Enemy’s Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos is a fine example. The original recording is close to my heart, as it’s from the first album that I actually managed to piss off my relatively liberal parents with, but I can’t deny the superior musicianship in Tricky’s version.

Killer Queen
Cover: Sum 41
Original: Queen

Despite the fact that Sum 41 sucks, in 2005 they attempted to cover a classic song by one of the hardest bands to cover, and shockingly, they somehow knocked it out of the fucking park. There is no way this recording came to be without some sort of contract with Satan himself, but that’s fine by me: I’ve got an interesting new take on a classic track, and the comfort in knowing that at least one shitty band will burn in hell for all eternity.

Simple Man
Cover: The Deftones
Original: Lynyrd Skynyrd

The Deftones have done a lot of great covers. I had to choose between this, their versions of Sade’s No Ordinary Love, The Smiths’ Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want, Duran Duran’s The Chaffeur (which was basically just more obvious a cover than The Passenger from White Pony), and The Cars’ Drive. This one fit into the mix best.

Easy
Cover: Faith No More
Original: The Commodores

One of my favorite covers of all time: Faith No More’s cover of Easy, from 1993’s Songs To Make Love To EP. If Johnny had fit this onto his covers mix yesterday, I might have considered it complete enough to not immediately warrant a reactionary follow-up. He did get Ministry’s Friend Of The Devil though… That’s another crucial one.

Long Train Runnin’
Cover: Hanson
Original: The Doobie Brothers

Yes, that Hanson. No, seriously. Trust me. I know, last time you checked, Hanson were three 12 year old girls and they had only one song, MMM-Bop, and it sucked balls. Well, they grew up, and they’re fucking talented. They sound like The Black Crowes now, with black Michael Jackson singing, and this cover of Long Train Runnin’ from their appearance on the Howard Stern Show gave me chills when I tuned in- not knowing who it was until afterwards.

The process was agonizing and the tracklist could easily run into the hundreds, so I narrowed things down chronologically. As a result, with one or two exceptions, all the songs posted here have been recorded in the last 10-12 years. And no, I won’t apologize for including two Pearl Jam tracks- they’ve been my favorite band for nearly as long as I’ve been in love with music, and nobody but the songs’ creators could hold a candle to these renditions. Just be thankful this isn’t a Pearl Jam covers mixtape, cause it easily could’ve been.

I dug up some real gems while working on this, as well as some fuckin’ weird shit. Didn’t expect to ever hear Mariah Carey tearing up a Journey song (Open Arms) or The Streets’ sharting butchery of Elton John’s Your Song. There’s more than enough material to warrant a “Worst Covers” mix… but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

There’s a certain sweet sacrilege to an artist’s reinterpretation of someone else’s music, especially when they “make it their own”. With any luck, a few of you might like one or two of these tracks enough to dig up the originals. But I can’t do it all for you- you’ll have to find the originals for yourselves.

Enjoy.