So there’s this guy Bob Lefsetz. I could look him up on Wikipedia to figure out where exactly he came from and why people listen to him, but the fact that I still receive his barrage of “Lefsetz Letters” via email and read (some of) them is really all the qualification required. He could have taught the Beatles how to write songs, but if his emails were full of shit, I’d unsubscribe without batting an eye.
He’s got a lot of knowledge, and a lot of opinions. He’s often painfully behind internet / hipster / juvenescent trends, and I wince sometimes when he runs wild with visions of a future that, while light years ahead of the major label record industry’s status quo, are still light years behind yours and ours. But he gets conversations going, and when he shoots his mouth off, it’s because he believes in something. And really, that’s what the music industry needs most- passion, and bravery. There was something my Dad used to say when I was faced with a complicated decision: “Do something, even if it’s wrong.” Take a step forward. The path you find yourself on may not be the fastest way to point B, or the most scenic, but you’re closer than you were yesterday.
On Thursday, I got a Lefsetz Letter, and the subject was “Gene Simmons.” It was the second of four that day. He was writing us from Canadian Music Week 2009, and he was going off on Gene. It opened:
“Imagine you’re stranded on a desert island and you stumble upon a member of the opposite sex. You’re thrilled! You’re gonna have someone to talk to, you’re gonna make love until the Coast Guard finally figures out your ship sank and rescues you.
And this person may not be a beauty queen, but hey, he or she is all right. At least that’s what you think at first. Maybe you even have sex and forget your plight for a moment or two. But then, even though you’re exhausted, your partner just won’t give up. Insists on having sex every hour, being coddled, all the while telling you how fucking hot they are. It would almost be enough to get you to jump back into the water and swim to your death.
That’s what listening to Gene Simmons is like.”
Basically, it was an assault on Gene’s relentless salesmanship, which everyone knows has no rival in any industry. We know about KISS action figures, coffins, condoms, pinball machines and Visa cards. And like Lefsetz, Gene bravely shoots his mouth off when he believes in something.
And so it was only natural that Gene challenged Bob to a debate. When Bob announced (and accepted) the challenge, it became by far the most exciting Lefsetz Letter to come along in a long time. And of course the video was on YouTube the next day:
UPDATE 3/17: The entire debate is now online here.
Unlike Lefsetz, Gene refuses to shut up until you’re on his side. Some may find this astonishingly annoying, but you’ve got to give the man some credit for such tenacity and drive. That’s why Gene always wins in the end.
After the debate, Lefsetz said:
“What an asshole.
You can make your own decision who was victorious, I’m sure clips will surface on YouTube. But what stunned me was who this guy was. I truly believed he had another, more human side underneath, that maybe he could let down his guard and laugh at himself. I was wrong.
Whether it be the endless recitation of KISS kronology, or shilling for his venture with Universal Music Canada, not only did Gene continue to sell, he did it in the meanest, most underhanded fashion possible. Proving the old saw if you just met your hero, he wouldn’t be one anymore.”
Lefsetz uses the word asshole like it’s a bad thing. With all due respect to Bob, we’re going to defend Gene, not that he needs it. Gene Simmons is a fucking role model. Gene blew us away with this discussion on Henry Rollins’ IFC show:
In less than five minutes, Gene hammers in more truth nails than Lefsetz manages in a good week. Sure, he’s an asshole. But we don’t need Bob Lefsetz to tell us- Gene will happily admit it himself. And if you ask us, this world could use more assholes like Gene Simmons.
I could care less about Kiss (my interest in them ended back in the 80’s), could even less about Simmons (won’t buy a thing with his name on it….bored now) but the man’s sense of common sense regarding his kids and general life is beautiful. I almost wish I were one of his kids. I can only imagine what a great head I’d have on my shoulders having grown up under his roof.
Fuck Gene Simmons and his stupid reality show and his rehashed band.
Lefsetz is awesome. I met him at Canadian Music Week last year. He knows his shit and he cares about this business and the money being allocating properly.
Gene Simmons is example of everything you don’t want to be. He is pompous, self centered, and egotistical, he lacks integrity and ingenuity. His band sucks, his shows sucks, and anybody with a brain knows he’s a jackass.
Wanna see good he is at Bass haha: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6vdZ_b0l_U
lol @ the utubes video. why does he need a pick to play that bulljive? oh, it’s because he sucks.
I’m glad to see something intelligent “fart” out of this man’s “oral cavity”. He is set for life and he knows it. But I think what Bob has brought to light with this battle is that Gene is plain fucking annoying when it comes to his business, and how he treats fans of music in general. Seriously…WHY fucking Canada, and WHY does he believe so strongly that the next big band will come from there? He clearly just made a good deal with Universal Music Canada, made a bunch of money, and is now spouting shit to make it sound like the Lord told him Canada is where the next KISS will be. Secondly, part of that onstage battle, Bob asks Gene how he will sell the new KISS record(youtube3:30= http://tinyurl.com/acenc3 ). Gene proceeds to stumble over the stupidity of his own words as he says “Direct to uhh..uhh… Best Buy and Wal-Mart”, and then cannot define the success he wishes from that deal. He, for once, held back that his only answer is “money”.
I continue to be shocked and amazed that Kiss has any fans at all. Why? Because their music is pure lowest common denominator garbage. Pure crap. No melody, shitty songs… all fluff and no substance. Can you name for me one memorable Kiss song? Can you name for me ANY Kiss song? Anyone who likes their stuff almost by definition is a shit-for-brains music ignoramus with no taste. Who is also probably a closet queen who secretly wants to richly adorn themselves in Kiss makeup and disguise their true loser identity to the world. Now Simmons is an interesting interview and obviously a good businessman and his perspective on drugs and the crazy rock and roll lifestyle is refreshing. Nevertheless he is peddling garbage. Fortunately, he and PT Barnum over the years have found plenty of suckers born every minute to consume their product. But at least PT Barnum’s circus (or the modern day Barnum and Bailey which I’m familiar with) is entertaining – Simmons music appeals to morons with no sense of melody, harmony songcraft, and musicianship. It’s all noise, explosions, tongues, smoke and mirrors. It is clowns like this that rely on the mass marketing media-bending strength of the RIAA/major music labels to promote their shit. May the major labels die the death they so richly deserve.
I will say, for the record, that Kiss stands for everything I despise about both music and the recording industry. Simmons is an absolute dick, and the asshole factor is given far more credit in this piece than I personally believe it deserves. Tenacity and the bottom line will never, ever justify a lack of humanity in my eyes.
But that just comes down to personal ethics. Gene makes a few good points in his thick fog of ego, and he’s the consummate businessman, I’ll give him that… but the heartless prick package he’s wrapped in, as well as his heels-in-the-dirt resistance to industry evolution, eliminates any respect or admiration I could hold for his accomplishments.
I simply don’t find entertainment value in being a dick.
well, i think if i could see gene as a musician, i’d hate him too. but i never have. never even saw kiss as a band. for me, gene’s the new p.t. barnum.
I thought that Rollins interview was one of the most painful things I’ve ever watched when I saw it for the first time. You can see Henry straining against his contempt for the man.
Gene Simmons is a fucking idiot with no idea how the music industry works outside his own head.
Saying that, I’m off to listen to Strutter, because whilst KISS may be fucked in the butt thanks to the personalities (Paul always seemed so nice, though), the music is awesome. So be it if it is the lowest common denominator, it shits over the LCD music we have today.
After watching the Lefsetz/Simmons debate *twice* now, it seems to me that Lefsetz finished with the philosophical upper hand, despite some brutal takedowns throughout by Simmons.
One thing is clear: the moderator’s comment that we need more public conversations like this is dead on. Consider it a fuse lit. Stay tuned.
simon, i’ve heard rollins speak at length publicly about gene and kiss. i think you’re projecting your own contempt for gene onto henry; he knew exactly who gene simmons was and wouldn’t have invited him onto his show if he hated him as much as you seem to.
one thing i will concede though is that lefsetz deserves more credit, now that i’ve seen the debate.
Derek in Santa Barbara evidently is 6-years-old. Wasn’t alive in the 70’s, that’s for damn sure.
Seriously, pal, you have absolutely no concept whatsoever of what you are talking about. Simmons is an ass, but a carnival barker supreme. That’s what this country is all about. The fact that he can still successfully shill after all these years is a testament to his business acumen.
And your incredibly stupid comments regarding KISS songs … well, there’s really not much I can say that you didn’t just say yourself. You’re not much of a music maven. Where do your first memories, let alone your knowledge of music begin, with Justin Timberlake’s solo career?
Skwerl, I concede that Rollins would have been fully aware of what was going on. He did seem remarkably uncomfortable though.
Let’s have a beer and listen to Destroyer.
sounds good man. you’re alright. happy st. pat’s.
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