This morning I was lucky enough to come across Apple’s cover of Why Try to Change Me Now, recorded for the That Was Then And This Is Now: A Tribute To Cy Coleman EP.

I know Fiona definitely has a couple of screws loose, but if her reemergence means she’s thinking about recording a new album, I’m prepared for several release date changes and a leak of the inferior first mix. I once heard a rumor that the guy who leaked Chinese Democracy was also responsible for the leak of the Jon Brion version of Extraordinary Machine…

[Editor's Note: That is pure fucking hearsay, woman.]

In the past few hours, the two have been letting their emotions out over Twitter in a seriously passive-aggressive quote battle that all seems to have started about 17 hours ago…

Shanna: @trvsbrkr are you really doing this right now?

Travis: I would prefer even to FAIL with honor than win by cheating

Shanna: Slander is the revenge of a coward, and dissimulation his defense

Travis: You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people all of the time

Travis: @ShannaMoakler No slander, just the truth

Shanna: A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

But in the days leading up to today, they’ve been as lovey-dovey as ever with little gems like:

Travis: @ShannaMoakler http://tinyurl.com/ch5e5p For u Ma.

Shanna: Right back at you papa….xoxo, http://tinyurl.com/ceqcpl

Now I’m a big fan of ridiculousness (and, unfortunately, of the saga of Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler), but is this really how we communicate these days? I’ve been hesitant to really “join” Twitter, but knowing that I can watch drama like this unfold, I’m totally in. I can’t wait for the make up tweets.

When The New Kids On The Block went on the Magic Summer Tour in 1990, I was there. It was a birthday present to my mother– that’s how in love I was with NKOTB. I was there at Dodger Stadium in a handmade shirt that read “I love Joey!!” even though Jordan was my favorite. Long story short, my older sisters called dibs on all the other New Kids until only Joey was left. We certainly couldn’t have duplicates.

As rumors of a reunion began to surface earlier this year, I watched as NKOTB.com went from a site under construction reminding visitors to check back, to a site with old videos, and then the “Are You Ready?” video really got me going. Of course I’m ready! I’ve been waiting for eighteen years! N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, and even my beloved Jonas Brothers aren’t exactly the powerhouses that the New Kids were during the late ‘80s and early ‘90s.

In May, Summertime arrived for download as a new single from NKOTB. While it definitely wasn’t Hangin’ Tough, it was a safe, mediocre, slightly catchy pop song. In order to keep the dream alive, I just told myself it was their attempt to work their way back in without doing anything too controversial and that the best was yet to come. When the music video hit the scene, I laughed. Each time I see it, I still laugh. All the guys out there who don’t give a crap can at least tune in to see the hot chicks they have running around in bathing suits on the beach:

Now The Block is here. Fiona Apple’s Extraordinary Machine was the last time I was (almost) this excited about a new release.

The first song is Click, Click, Click and though it’s more digestible the second time around, it still sounds like late ‘90s R&B. The next track is the newest single, Single, featuring Ne-Yo. It’s listenable. Then I get confused when Big Girl Now featuring Lady Gaga starts attacking my speakers. The beginning of the song almost pulls me in, but after the first 25 seconds, it turns to shit. Then I hit the one minute mark when Lady Gaga shows she’s got a bit of a voice– I might check some of her stuff out, but I’m skipping the rest of this song because I can’t take much more of this “I’m a big girl, you’re a big boy now” crap.

We’ve all heard Summertime, so next is 2 In The Morning. You can definitely hear the intersection of early ‘90s and today. The beat is reminiscent of the old times, but the auto-tuner makes sure we know NKOTB is hanging out in the two-thousands. Bad.

I hate the Pussycat Dolls. I love pop music, but I hate PCD. They’re hanging out on the next track, Grown Man. I get it, you guys aren’t 20 anymore.

My heart is beginning to break…

Dirty Dancing and Sexify My Love are horrible. All over the house / working that thing, girl / making you shout / Take it fast, slow / gonna do it like a pole / slide down and get low… That gem is followed by Twisted, which also sucks.

The next track is Full Service. If you were wondering what New Edition is up to these days, listen to this track when nobody is around and you’ll be glad they’ve been in hiding. They don’t want you to be nervous, they’re gonna give you full service, full service. “You ain’t even gotta get out your seat.” Don’t worry, we’re not.

Lights, Camera, Action is a decent dance track. Put It On My Tab opens with Akon. I love Akon. He’s so bad, he’s almost good. Akon ends up being the best part of this track, but that’s not saying much at all.

Stare At You, One Song, Don’t Cry, and Officially Over would have been good in 1994. Looking Like Danger is so bad it’s close to good. I think this one is my favorite.

On NKOTB’s Myspace page, they only have old hits on their player.

I was once really excited about seeing NKOTB at the Staples Center next month, but I might just stay home. They should have completed the tour before releasing the album to gauge interest and spend a few more months working on the album.

NKOTB’s Greatest Hits album starts playing after Looking Like Danger finishes. I might just stick to that and pretend none of this ever happened.

There’s still a part of me that has hope as I snuggle in tight to my NKOTB sleeping bag that I made my mom buy for me at the Magic Summer Tour in 1990. Maybe they’re working in reverse this time: shitty album first, awesome stuff later.

The Block
September 2, 2008
Interscope

1. Click, Click, Click
2. Single
3. Big Girl Now
4. Summertime
5. 2 In The Morning
6. Grown Man
7. Dirty Dancing
8. Sexify My Love
9. Twisted
10. Full Service
11. Lights, Camera, Action
12. Put It On My Tab
13. Stare At You
14. One Song
15. Don’t Cry
16. Officially Over
17. Looking Like Danger

After five or so other cases were presented, the United States of America presented her case against Skwerl. The proceeding was mostly about what his bail was going to be set at. The U.S.A. requested bail be set at $50,000. Skwerl’s court-appointed attorney thankfully called B.S. on that one and recommended his bail be $5,000 and that this case is the kind of case where the defendant should have been summoned to appear instead of being accosted by five F.B.I. agents at his home in a quiet neighborhood.

Interestingly, the Judge chimed in to add that he had actually recommended that it be a summons case and wasn’t sure why it went down as it did. He also dismissed the idea presented by the U.S.A. that squirrels be forbidden to use the internet.

In the end, the Judge ruled that his bail be in the form of a signature bond at $10,000. What that means is that Skwerl has to remain within the Central District of California until his next court date or someone has to cough up that 10k. So for now, he’s home… Stay tuned.

Moving forward, a preliminary hearing has been scheduled for September 17th at 4:30 PM and the arraignment for September 22nd at 8:30 AM. Both will be at the U.S. District Court Building, and the address is 255 East Temple Street, Third Floor, in Downtown Los Angeles.

Skwerl, Johnny, and I appreciate your concern and warm wishes during these hard times as we deal with Democracy.

UPDATE 9/2/08: David J.P. Kaloyanides, ALPC has agreed to defend Skwerl, and we are now accepting donations to help cover extensive legal costs. More information here.

You see how I cited Wikipedia there? That’s what you’re supposed to do when you take information from a source and use it for your own reports, papers, and speeches. But it’s also important to note that Wikipedia isn’t exactly looked at very highly by the academic community based on the fact that it’s very user friendly.

Presidential hopeful John McCain gave a speech in Erie, Pennsylvania, earlier today and managed to stick it to the Russians, referring to their attempt to cripple the pro-U.S. government in Georgia.

If you read the transcript of his speech, it would seem that John McCain actually does know how to use the Internet, as well as Wikipedia! Or at least he employs speech writers who are very familiar with the two. Below are a few excerpts from John McCain’s speech and the seemingly corresponding Wikipedia text:

John McCain: “one of the world’s first nations to adopt Christianity as an official religion”
Wikipedia: “one of the first countries in the world to adopt Christianity as an official religion”

John McCain: “After a brief period of independence following the Russian revolution, the Red Army forced Georgia to join the Soviet Union in 1922. As the Soviet Union crumbled at the end of the Cold War, Georgia regained its independence in 1991, but its early years were marked by instability, corruption, and economic crises.”
Wikipedia: “After the Russian Revolution of 1917, Georgia had a brief period of independence as a Democratic Republic (1918-1921), which was terminated by the Red Army invasion of Georgia. Georgia became part of the Soviet Union in 1922 and regained its independence in 1991. Early post-Soviet years was marked by a civil unrest and economic crisis.”

John McCain: “Following fraudulent parliamentary elections in 2003, a peaceful, democratic revolution took place, led by the U.S.-educated lawyer Mikheil Saakashvili. The Rose Revolution changed things dramatically and, following his election, President Saakashvili embarked on a series of wide-ranging and successful reforms.”
Wikipedia: “In 2003, Shevardnadze (who won reelection in 2000) was deposed by the Rose Revolution, after Georgian opposition and international monitors asserted that the 2 November parliamentary elections were marred by fraud. The revolution was led by Mikheil Saakashvili, Zurab Zhvania and Nino Burjanadze, former members and leaders of Shavarnadze’s ruling party. Mikheil Saakashvili was elected as President of Georgia in 2004. Following the Rose Revolution, a series of reforms was launched to strengthen the country’s military and economic capabilities.”

Now the third instance is a bit more of a paraphrase when you compare it to the first two, but it’s obviously similar information and still requires a citation. Citations are usually needed when information is not considered common knowledge. Whether or not the above info is considered common knowledge is debatable, especially in the third excerpt.

The first two, though, seem to be bits of history that aren’t exactly hidden deep in some lockbox. The third, at best, takes a bit more in-depth knowledge of the events in that country. So sure, it definitely looks like there’s a bit of plagiarism going on here, but it’s not quite Usher stealing beats from fucking GarageBand and making it a hit song. Our own investigation into that particular scandal may be published here soon…

I am not here to defend McCain one way or another, but next time his speechwriter should take an extra minute to conceal the fact that his knowledge of foreign countries comes solely from Wikipedia.

My advice: go dust off the Encyclopedia Britannica at your mom’s house and use that entry. Nobody reads books anymore and it’s more dignified.

As it says in the Bible in the book of Ecclesiastes: “There is nothing new under the Sun.”

McCain’s editorial response was submitted and quickly rejected by the New York Times Op-Ed editor, David Shipley. In his response to the McCain team, Shipley states that he’s “not going to be able to accept [the] piece as currently written,” but that he’d be “pleased” to look over a different draft.

What does that really mean? Is that editorial decision being made based on policy or content? McCain’s camp is quick to point out that Shipley served in the Clinton Administration and that the real problem is that he doesn’t agree with McCain’s policies toward Iraq and that reworking the draft would be useless unless it came with a change in policy.

Luckily, Shipley is on vacation this week, but he did leave us with this:

“The Obama piece worked for me because… while Senator Obama discussed Senator McCain, he also went into detail about his own plans… it would be terrific to have an article from Senator McCain that mirrors Senator Obama’s piece. To that end, the article would have to articulate, in concrete terms, how Senator McCain defines victory in Iraq.”

All is fair in politics and war, so here’s McCain’s editorial as submitted to the New York Times:

In January 2007, when General David Petraeus took command in Iraq, he called the situation “hard” but not “hopeless.” Today, 18 months later, violence has fallen by up to 80% to the lowest levels in four years, and Sunni and Shiite terrorists are reeling from a string of defeats. The situation now is full of hope, but considerable hard work remains to consolidate our fragile gains.

Progress has been due primarily to an increase in the number of troops and a change in their strategy. I was an early advocate of the surge at a time when it had few supporters in Washington. Senator Barack Obama was an equally vocal opponent. “I am not persuaded that 20,000 additional troops in Iraq is going to solve the sectarian violence there,” he said on January 10, 2007. “In fact, I think it will do the reverse.”

Now Senator Obama has been forced to acknowledge that “our troops have performed brilliantly in lowering the level of violence.” But he still denies that any political progress has resulted.

Perhaps he is unaware that the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad has recently certified that, as one news article put it, “Iraq has met all but three of 18 original benchmarks set by Congress last year to measure security, political and economic progress.” Even more heartening has been progress that’s not measured by the benchmarks. More than 90,000 Iraqis, many of them Sunnis who once fought against the government, have signed up as Sons of Iraq to fight against the terrorists. Nor do they measure Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki’s new-found willingness to crack down on Shiite extremists in Basra and Sadr City- actions that have done much to dispel suspicions of sectarianism.

The success of the surge has not changed Senator Obama’s determination to pull out all of our combat troops. All that has changed is his rationale. In a New York Times op-ed and a speech this week, he offered his “plan for Iraq” in advance of his first “fact finding” trip to that country in more than three years. It consisted of the same old proposal to pull all of our troops out within 16 months. In 2007 he wanted to withdraw because he thought the war was lost. If we had taken his advice, it would have been. Now he wants to withdraw because he thinks Iraqis no longer need our assistance.

To make this point, he mangles the evidence. He makes it sound as if Prime Minister Maliki has endorsed the Obama timetable, when all he has said is that he would like a plan for the eventual withdrawal of U.S. troops at some unspecified point in the future.

Senator Obama is also misleading on the Iraqi military’s readiness. The Iraqi Army will be equipped and trained by the middle of next year, but this does not, as Senator Obama suggests, mean that they will then be ready to secure their country without a good deal of help. The Iraqi Air Force, for one, still lags behind, and no modern army can operate without air cover. The Iraqis are also still learning how to conduct planning, logistics, command and control, communications, and other complicated functions needed to support frontline troops.

No one favors a permanent U.S. presence, as Senator Obama charges. A partial withdrawal has already occurred with the departure of five “surge” brigades, and more withdrawals can take place as the security situation improves. As we draw down in Iraq, we can beef up our presence on other battlefields, such as Afghanistan, without fear of leaving a failed state behind. I have said that I expect to welcome home most of our troops from Iraq by the end of my first term in office, in 2013.

But I have also said that any draw-downs must be based on a realistic assessment of conditions on the ground, not on an artificial timetable crafted for domestic political reasons. This is the crux of my disagreement with Senator Obama.

Senator Obama has said that he would consult our commanders on the ground and Iraqi leaders, but he did no such thing before releasing his “plan for Iraq.” Perhaps that’s because he doesn’t want to hear what they have to say. During the course of eight visits to Iraq, I have heard many times from our troops what Major General Jeffrey Hammond, commander of coalition forces in Baghdad, recently said: that leaving based on a timetable would be “very dangerous.”

The danger is that extremists supported by Al Qaeda and Iran could stage a comeback, as they have in the past when we’ve had too few troops in Iraq. Senator Obama seems to have learned nothing from recent history. I find it ironic that he is emulating the worst mistake of the Bush administration by waving the “Mission Accomplished” banner prematurely.

I am also dismayed that he never talks about winning the war- only of ending it. But if we don’t win the war, our enemies will. A triumph for the terrorists would be a disaster for us. That is something I will not allow to happen as president. Instead I will continue implementing a proven counterinsurgency strategy not only in Iraq but also in Afghanistan with the goal of creating stable, secure, self-sustaining democratic allies.

I hope that McCain will submit his plan for Iraq and that the New York Times will publish it.

Last October I had a few lapses in judgment. One was dying my hair dark brown, one was a less-than-perfect life choice, and the other was getting a little turned on by Barack Obama. On October 3, 2007, Obama was campaigning in Independence, Iowa, raping the dry husk that is the American Dream, *giggle* when one reporter noticed something strange.

“You don’t have the American flag pin on. Is that a fashion statement?” he asked and pointed out that politicians had been wearing them since September 12, 2001.

At that moment, my world stood still as Obama spoke. He said he stopped wearing the pin on his lapel after 9/11 when it became “substitute for… true patriotism” and that his ideas for America will prove to be a testament to his patriotism. Immediately, I fell in love, but others saw it as a weakness and further questioned his patriotism and support of American troops overseas. “You show your patriotism by how you treat your fellow Americans, especially those who serve. And you show your patriotism by being true to your values and ideals. And that’s what we have to lead with, our values and ideals,” Obama said the next day in a response to the attacks. That, I think, is the spirit of change Barack Obama wants to embody, but has failed terribly at in recent days. It’s becoming increasingly apparent that his supposed candor is nothing but eloquent rhetoric that is just as malleable as any other politician’s promises.

I want to point out that we’ve still got a long way to go. Though November is just around the corner, we’re bound to discover a lot about both of these candidates in the coming months. The past eight years have taught us, if anything, that there’s so much more in play, and that it isn’t just about who becomes president. Both of these candidates still have to choose running mates. The winner / appointee then has to choose the people who will be there daily to ADVISE him on how to tackle the issues. What comes out of an administration has a lot more to do with the people a president surrounds himself with, than the bullshit that is thrown around by both sides leading up to the general election, but since one side of the story has been discussed here, it’s only right to make sure disillusionment comes from more than one angle.

Support for Obama is on a steady decline as he alienates his most avid supporters and changes (exchanges?) his positions on issues that made him the candidate who you can believe in. In June, Obama had the support of 59% of the registered democrats, but now it’s 54% and his numbers against John McCain are fluctuating between 45 and 47% with McCain gaining. I won’t bore you with too many details, but it might be fun to point out a few things that have occurred in the past week.

Obama was once praised for revolutionizing fundraising by relying on small internet donations rather than large politically-charged donations. People saw that as a change from the old ways of relying on the political machine. More than 90% of donations to the Obama campaign were less than $100, making Obama so “grassroots” and of “the people.” Unfortunately, “the people” aren’t you and me anymore, and that sort of takes away from the whole… grassroots revolutionary thing.

Obama said “no thanks” to “the people” when he opted out of public financing for his campaign in favor of seeking out sugar daddies to fund the most important months of his campaign. Leaving out special interests and giving the power to the voters was soooo primary season.

Not only does your $20 mean squat now, a piece of Obama is becoming more and more expensive. Last week at an event in Colorado at a five-star resort, Obama’s presence cost each attendee $1,000. The week before in Los Angeles, the Obama campaign had dinner with over 200 people who either donated $28,000 or raised $50,000, followed by another celebrity filled event where over 800 people contributed $2,300 each to basically hear Seal perform. Tomorrow, Obama will attend a fundraiser with over 400 people who donate $2,300 each. Those who give $10,000 can attend the reception, and those who give $28,000 get to break bread with Mr. Obama. Similar events will happen over the next few days, with my favorite on Wednesday, where $50,000 will get you a picture with the senator.

At least my picture with McCain was free…

Last week, Obama also decided to change his previous stance and actually support Bush legislation that grants immunity to telecommunications companies who allowed their customers to be wiretapped without a warrant. This legislation also expands the amount power and leeway the government has in domestic spying. This one has is supporters so riled up, that they’re actually organizing on Barack’s own website by the thousands to protest his decision, since he said earlier this year that he would filibuster any attempt to update FISA legislation. For someone who taught constitutional law, you’d think Obama would fight that one a bit.

Obama is also beginning to pander to those “Bible-thumping Christian global dominators” that some of his supporters are quick to disregard.

Obama’s plan for a “Council for Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships” is an extension of Bush’s faith-based initiatives used to infuse morality into policy discussions and turn government money into religious donations. I remember from my constitutional law class something about separating church and state, but I guess I didn’t have Obama as a professor. Obama says that there is a difference, though, since he will not allow these groups to discriminate when hiring.

Oh, because Hell wouldn’t freeze over the day a Muslim started working for a Jewish organization.

No matter what, people will dig to bring both Obama and McCain into an unfavorable light- that is just the nature of politics. That said, here are two of my favorites quotes from Obama’s book, Dreams From My Father: “I kept playing basketball, attended classes sparingly, drank beer heavily, and tried drugs enthusiastically… If the high didn’t solve whatever it was that was getting you down, it could at least help you laugh at the world’s ongoing folly.” And grassroots you say? Yes, yes he is. “I had learned not to care. I blew a few smoke rings, remembering those years. Pot had helped, and booze; maybe a little blow when you could afford it. Not smack, though…”

In reality, I’m about as much of a fan of Obama as I am of McCain, which isn’t saying much, but in the end, I’m voting for Obama. You know, just in case I need an abortion. But it’s always much more fun getting into fights with ardent supporters of Obama who know nothing of his shortcomings and overindulge in McCain bashing.

I just refuse to trick myself into believing Obama’s definition of change is the same as mine, or the same as yours. At least most McCain supporters have specific (although often irrational) reasons, whether it is overturning Roe v. Wade, tax cuts for the wealthy, eternal damnation for homosexuals, or world domination. Obama supporters all shout change, hope, etc., but I just hope they know that the term change is about as ambiguous as the sexuality of these two:

This past week in Independence, Missouri, Obama gave a speech about patriotism, surrounded by American flags- including one on his lapel.

Once the shining example of where politics in America could go with a little hope and a little change, Obama has exchanged (or bartered) your support of his values and ideas for some symbolic patriotism in hopes of winning a few more votes.

There’s so much more, but I will leave you with the words of Susan Sarandon: “So I think [Obama] definitely has convinced people that he stands for change and for hope, and I can’t wait to see what he stands for.” Me too, Susan. Me too.

I’m not going to give you the track by track review of what each song is saying, because true love and the way it is expressed in various artforms is best interpreted by each individual. I hope you’ll be able to follow the story. I will, though, tell you why each song has special meaning to me.

Prelude 12/21 is just so beautiful and touching. I would like Davey to touch me. He’s way too pretty for Jeffree Star.

If I Was Your Vampire is one of the best songs off the newest Manson album. Plus, I bite when I’m in love. Sometimes I make people bleed.

Cult actually reminds me of a very distressing time in my life. I was 15, had just changed schools because of a series of scandals involving a teacher, and I was looking for ways to get the pain of missing him out of my soul. I turned to music and dancing. I entered a talent show where I performed a solo dance routine to this song. I felt much better afterward.

You Lied ends up on this mix because I loved a boy once who loved Tool. He wasn’t very fond of this song. I later found out that Tool songs are all about anal fixation. That boy ended up being gay. He was lying to me.

Everybody Knows That You’re Insane is great. I have a soft-spot for boys who are damaged. This song makes me think of most of the boys I’ve dated. “You ought to know / why you feel so hollow / ’cause you are.”

Fun With Knives brings me back to when I was 17. I loved a boy who loved this song. I took it as a signal that he wanted to have fun with knives. I’m still waiting for him to die for me. I’ll die for you.

Bloody Kisses reminds me of a particular damaged boy. He killed himself. “Both life & love could not be saved / She took them both to the grave”

This Love is my favorite Pantera love song. I grew up listening to Pantera.

Bye Bye, Beautiful is usually how the love story ends. *tear* but aside from that, Nightwish is amazing.

1. AFI / Prelude 12/21
2. Marilyn Manson / If I Was Your Vampire
3. Skinny Puppy / Cult
4. Tool / You Lied
5. Queens Of The Stone Age / Everybody Knows That You’re Insane
6. Velvet Acid Christ / Fun With Knives
7. Type O Negative / Bloody Kisses
8. Pantera / This Love (Live)
9. Nightwish / Bye, Bye, Beautiful

Recently, union struggles have severely impacted the University of California (UC) campuses. The American Federation of State, County, and Municipal Employees (AFSCME), which represents some 20,000 University of California healthcare and service employees (5,400 employed at UCLA alone) has organized its members who have been working for months on expired contracts.

Unlike the writers, members of AFSCME’s local 3299 have continued to work while trying to get a living wage worked into a new contract with the UC system. Instead of a non-stop picket, AFSCME has been organizing on specific days to make a statement.

Students in the University of California’s 10-campus system have been very supportive of AFSCME by participating in various walk-outs and protests. Beyond that, many students showed a great deal of initiative by creating various Facebook groups and facilitating events (including a boycott and hunger strike!!!) in order to make sure UC officials knew they were standing in solidarity with the workers. In addition, several student-run organizations at the UC campuses have formally, and publically, endorsed AFSCME 3299’s fight.

On June 13, UCLA had their College of Letters and Science Commencement at Pauley Pavilion. Bill Clinton had agreed to give the commencement address to over 4,000 students, surrounded by their family and friends who year after year, fill Pauley Pavilion to capacity. Days before commencement, (and right in the middle of finals), these soon-to-be UCLA graduates were basically given the finger by AFSCME. The union’s leaders urged Bill Clinton to renege on his scheduled commencement address at UCLA citing the ongoing fight between AFSCME and the UC campuses and their scheduled picket at the graduation ceremonies.

Now, I’m a big fan of Bill. Somehow I remember Clinton being elected in 1992 (I was 7…) and being excited for reasons that I couldn’t explain. That excitement carried on and has not returned since. Yes, I’ve heard of Barack Obama– he just doesn’t do it for me.

I also remember being a little upset (jealous, even) in 1998 when Monica Lewinsky became famous for crawling around in the Oval Office. At that point, I had yet to even see a man’s penis, but if I had that opportunity, I would have been all over it…  Surprisingly, my stint as an intern in early 2007 was without scandal- since then is a different story. But again, I digress…

Bill Clinton ended up pulling out of the UCLA graduation ceremony because he refused to cross the picket line.

Early in June, prior to all of the UC commencement ceremonies, a previously approved two-day strike was called off by AFSCME leaders due to the fact that the UC officials agreed to start contract talks again. Why did AFSCME decide to pull this scheduled strike, but not the one to take place at graduation?

Of course, the union president had a few pennies on the matter: “I’m very glad that people are supporting our cause and sending a message to the university that they can’t treat workers this way.” I think I might have missed the AFSCME “message to the university.” Was there one? If there was, they’re certainly doing it wrong.

Soon after, the UC officials issued this statement: “We do feel that it’s unfortunate that the union has pushed for these cancellations, since they have no bearing on negotiations and only serve to disrupt the commencement ceremonies for students and their families.” Instead, the only obvious message was that AFSCME will screw over students who they so desperately want to continue providing services to.

And it wasn’t just Bill Clinton. Former state Assembly Speaker, Fabian Nunez was supposed to speak at UC Davis’ commencement. Nunez was also scheduled to speak at UC Berkeley two years ago, but a separate AFSCME strike helped put a stop to that as well. Rep. Hilda Solis, Rep. Henry Waxman, and retired Army General Wesley Clark were all scheduled to speak at different departmental ceremonies at UCLA, but wouldn’t cross the picket line. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. (who was a possible contender for Hillary Clinton’s seat in the Senate had she won the nomination) was scheduled to address UC San Diego students. Assemblywoman Fiona Ma and Assemblyman John Laird were scheduled at UC Santa Cruz.

AFSCME members should be publicly shamed for taking a special piece of graduation away from the students who have been nothing but supportive since day one. I understand that there is a deep truth to the allegations that the real assholes here are the insanely rich UC officials, but AFSCME made a very strategic move in a very political game: as a general rule, most democrats do not cross picket lines. Now AFSCME has the “backing” of all of these democratic leaders– but possibly only by default.

Unfortunately, we live in an all-or-nothing kind of culture where people are unable to accept that change sometimes has to come in small doses. In February, UC officials offered an additional $16 million and AFSCME turned it down because it was short of their per- hour goal. AFSCME should have just taken it. If the Governator’s proposed budget passes, $240 million will disappear from the UC system. I wouldn’t count on a raise after that…

One AFSCME woman who cleans dorm rooms at UCLA said she makes just under $11 an hour. A patient-care worker noted that she makes $16 an hour, but her counterparts at Kaiser Permanente make $18. We all know that $11 an hour isn’t exactly a living wage, but c’mon. AFSCME claims that their workers typically earn 25% less than their counterparts at other places. If that’s the case, I’m going into the janitorial business, or I’ll get a medical technician job at Kaiser.

It can’t actually be that bad, right? I don’t see AFSCME members fleeing the UC campuses in pursuit of that identical job that pays 25% more. There are many pros and cons when it comes to unions, but when unemployment is as high as it is and there’s a budget crisis in the state, if you’re making $11 an hour to clean a dorm room, you’re a goddamned baller.

So hey, if that $11 an hour job isn’t good enough for you, I know plenty of people willing to take it off your hands…

I don’t know many people who use MSN Messenger very often these days, including myself, but I’m back as of tomorrow and you and I should chat. But, for the next 30 days, I’ll be sacrificing myself for the greater good by making my MSN Messenger contact information public.

No, I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t even care about what you have to say. Well, unless you want to say how awesome the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Camp Rock is, and how you want to host a sing-along at your awesome pool house.

Midnight tonight marks the beginning of the “i’m talkathon: 30 days of e-mailing and IMing for the common good.”

The “i’m Initiative” has raised more than $1.5 million dollars since March ‘07 for their partner causes.

Here’s the best part:

“Exactly how much will we share with our partner causes? Well, that’s up to you and the growing masses of registered i’m Initiative users. The more messages you send, the more we give.”

Partner causes include:
American Red Cross
Boys & Girls Clubs of America
National AIDS Fund
The Humane Society of the United States
ninemillion.org
National Multiple Sclerosis Society
Sierra Club
UNICEF
stopglobalwarming.org
Susan G. Komen for the Cure

Sound good? Click here to join:
http://im.live.com/Messenger/IM/Join/

Don’t forget to designate your cause when you sign in and add britneybernstein@hotmail.com to your contact list. Make new friends, connect with old ones, and use it as a reason to ask your ex about his new ugly girlfriend.

I’ll be chatting for the National AIDS Fund.
Maybe next time we can all chat for the Buy Britney a Scooter Fund ($3,500 donations are welcome)…